I posted previously about E's problems with bedtime and napping and the crying for a millennium before he goes to sleep. He was doing great for a while. He would go to bed and sleep without crying at bedtime, and his nap times were only a one out of four times.
As I write this, he is currently in his crib because he had a rough night (more on that later), screaming for all he's worth and decidedly not napping. I don't know what happened because there has been no big change in routine for sleep time or day time, he is not currently cutting teeth, and he's not going through a growth spurt. I've ruled out every possible cause I can think of, but last week he started a rebellion.
It started with his middle of the night wakings. He had stopped waking at eleven some of the time (he no longer gets milk at night so that helps), but whether or not he woke at eleven, he would always wake before 4 am. I'm not complaining. That's improvement. But instead of being happy with a one minute cuddle and going back to sleep, he started throwing temper tantrums. They got worse and forgive me, but at four in the morning there's only so much of that I can take. After about an hour of the wailing, banging walls, and throwing everything he could reach, I finally took him into bed with me. I know that's only reinforcing the crying but I am so tired from all of this that it really seems like the last resort in the wee hours.
That's exactly the problem. I am resolved during the day and even at his bedtime to let him cry so he learns, but when I've been woken from sleep and awake listening to his anger for a while, I get to the point that sleep is the only thing that matters. I've decided I'm not a good mom between 12am and 6 am, because consistency is so important but I can't stick to my guns in this situation. The night tantrums have led to extreme problems with nap time again, so it's back to square one.
Before anyone thinks, "It's just a phase, it will pass," I know it will. Even if if doesn't, there's only seventeen and a half more years until he moves out and I can make it.The simple fact is, everyone in this house is sleeping poorly because of this. J has woken up several times and his anxiety skyrockets because of it, and my husband and I are bickering a lot more and everyone's on edge. I have gotten five hours of sleep in the past three nights, and I can't function very well. It sucks.
So keeping in mind that it's the middle of the day and I'm thinking as clearly as I can, given the lack of sleep, I am going to tell you my plan. Whether I stick to it or not is anyone's guess, but I will give it everything I've got for at least a week to see if there's improvement. I am going to stop sleeping in E's room. I will remove the futon from his room so I can't change my mind. If he gets up in the night, I will go in once, hug him and put him back down, and leave. I will then let him cry. I feel bad still, but at this age it's more anger than any real sense that he's abandoned so I think I can justify it somewhat.
My husband might decide to sleep downstairs for the duration of this new sleep training and I will have to keep J's light on and door shut to minimize the disturbance to him. I will be lying awake in a separate room listening to him and timing the minutes of his protest. I will let him cry at nap time too. I hate it, but it's either that or continue with the daily disruptions that are affecting everyone.
I will keep posting through the week as I do this, and update any progress (or lack thereof). Today it's a lack thereof. I put him down for a nap one hour ago, and he is still screaming. He was well-fed and tired and I read to him and all that stuff, but now it's past his lunch time and I'm debating whether to get him up to eat and try again. Plus, the new neighbours just left their dog out in the backyard and he won't stop barking under E's window. Where's the pellet gun? Defeated on day one. I'll try again in an hour.
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