J, stop it! Right now!

This is not a post about J, as the title would suggest. He's been pretty great lately, helping more and whining less. Granted, there are still challenges with the attitude and paying attention bit, but I'm putting that down to his age.

This is actually a post about E, who has recently turned two. I may have mentioned once or twice that he's been practising the "Terribles." His attitude is almost on par with his brother. Of course, he has a great role model for the opinionated meltdowns and arguments. With this in mind, I can't decide if his latest habit is offensive or funny.

E has started blaming his brother for everything. I will point out now that this is somewhat justified, like when J takes a toy from E or is picking on him. "J stop it, right now!" makes a lot of sense in those circumstances. What doesn't make sense is when J is in another room, at school, or asleep. E will use that line whether his brother is there or not, because if he's upset then it has to be J's fault, right?

Maybe I failed somewhere in sibling school, but I haven't been able to get the point across to J that his little brother is not a pet to bug or a toy to play with. J thinks it's acceptable to stand in E's way, trip him, hug him whenever he wants and tease him by dangling toys in front of him. I understand why E blames J for everything, and I know that E's attitude and bossiness also comes from J. But this is not a post about J, and no matter what I try to impart to the older brother doesn't seem to be reaching him.

So I will focus on wisdom for the younger brother. But how the heck am I supposed to teach E that attitude, demanding, blocking and being pushy aren't okay when that's all he sees J doing? I have decided to remain consistent with J, and be a little more proactive with E and his new habit. I tell them both that Mommy will not listen if they don't use a nice voice. I have also started using timeouts for E, which backfires somewhat. E doesn't like timeouts when I'm holding him in place for 60 seconds after a behaviour, but he will tell me sporadically, "Mommy, E temper, timeout, calm down," and put himself in timeout. So sometimes it's discipline and sometimes it's a game. I'll have to see where this one goes.

So far, neither of my boys have improved their attitude one iota. Consistency is the key, I know, but I really thought I'd have at least another year or two for J to be giving me this trouble. Instead, he's an early starter and motivated his brother to have the attitude of a teenager at two years old. Yes, I'm proud my boys are overachievers, but I sometimes wish they would focus  little less on being opinionated and a little more on being cooperative. 

I know this won't happen for a while yet. Only today E started, "Mommy, stop it, right now!" This was after I put him down for a nap and he tried to negotiate for half an hour from his room, while I sat here, one floor below and listened to his deals. There was the "Bonk my head, Mr. Jones needs pants, fan too slow, machines too loud," and finally just, "Mommy stop it, right now." It's times like these when I console myself with the fact that at least my boys are cute.....