I was a behavioural counselor for years in various group homes for children, teenagers, and adults with mental disorders. I learned that routines are important for stabilizing behaviour and creating (more) peaceful days. So of course when my first child was born I was ready to take the same concept and apply it at home.
For the most part, it has been successful. The daily routines we have in place are borne out of necessity, such as the breakfast routine or the quiet time routine (if you don't have a quiet time routine, make one). The downside is that my children are now so used to their routines that when they are disrupted, there are problems.
Take when my oldest started Junior Kindergarten last year, as an example. He has never been in day care so I was concerned about his behaviour in the classroom under someone else's supervision. I should have worried about the change in routine instead. The teachers in his school all love him and he behaves like an angel (I don't see that at home, but that will be a topic for another day).
The change in what he was used to led to all sorts of behavioural problems at home. All of a sudden, the boy who knew that arguing and attitude were wrong, began arguing and giving attitude. He was also so tired at the end of a school day that he couldn't keep it together emotionally. There were tantrums aplenty and lots of hurt feelings over minor things. That was compounded by the fact that all the other kids he met had different rules at home, and he began to copy their behaviour to test it out with us. It was a fun year.
Many parents can relate I'm sure. Not all families are about routine, and some kids are just more flexible than others when it comes to a big change, but most children will be affected somewhat. When you're ready to throw your hands up and yell, remember that it is normal and healthy to act up when there's a disruption in the familiar.
Young children take years to learn about rules and limits. A parent or caregiver establishes the rules,
and the child will need to test that. I have never met a child who follows every rule that they hear. They need to test out the consequences for breaking it, and then they need to break that rule again to see that the consequences will be the same. Repetition is the way that children store information, and they will eventually develop automatic behaviour with consistency.
That being said, it seems to go on forever. My oldest was just acting in a stable and predictable manner when he started school and all that testing began again. It took until December for him to get back to normal, and then Christmas break put us back at square one. Then again at March break, and then it was summer holidays. Year two was just as difficult at the beginning of school, but he seems to have gotten over it slightly quicker this year. So he's adjusting but it's taking a while.
The same goes for any big change in the every day for children. Starting a new day care, moving to a different residence, parents going back to work, etc. The possibilities are endless. Remember that whatever your kids throw at you, be consistent and it will pass. It may take a year or four, but it will pass. And speaking from personal experience, having a meltdown and going crazy because you're sick of the testing is common, but will not help your children. Unless it's consistent.
Monday 31 December 2012
Sunday 23 December 2012
Mom Resolutions
It is coming close to that time of year when Christmas is over and there are seven short days to decide on a New Year's resolution. Some people like me have it easier than others, because we failed at our resolution last year so here we go again. Losing 25 pounds is a recurring resolution for me. But instead of personal resolutions, let's focus on some parenting resolutions.
I have already resolved to carry out this act of kindness thing that seems so popular now. I always try to be good to others, but now it is a cultural trend with all the books and websites about it. Since this was already part of my lifestyle, I have decided to blog about it to show people that it really is easy to implement, and there is no need it has to be a great, unheard of idea. It is quite simple actually, and I include it here because I want my children to know that it is a natural part of being a good person. It is not anything new in our family to do nice things for others, because my children will grow up knowing that we try to be nice whenever we can, just because we can. So check out my new blog Jan, 1/13, to see how I am making people smile one day at a time. www.niceadaybyday.blogspot.com
On the more personal side of things, here are my resolutions for just my family and myself:
1. I resolve to take a deep breath before I start yelling at my kids. This will serve two purposes. If I am yelling for no good reason, I can take a moment to change my approach. If I am yelling for a good reason, it will be much more effective if it has breath behind it.
2. I resolve to count the number of vegetable servings my children have each day. I know I am able to do this, because it is usually only one or two (I have very picky eaters). That's easy enough for me to remember. The fruit servings will be counted next year.
3. I resolve to get the number of vegetable servings up to three by the end of 2013. If this means I serve peas for breakfast or put broccoli in their grilled cheese, I will do it. I can count to three almost as easily as 2.
4. I resolve to teach by example. I will be aware of my tone and volume as much as I can, even when I am upset. I will verbalize when I am frustrated and allow my children to see my attempts to calm down. I will reinforce that this is the way to deal with our emotions in a healthy way, and if I do throw a temper tantrum, my kids get a free pass for meltdowns for the rest of the day. And I will eat three servings of vegetables a day
Those are my parenting resolutions. I think they are good ones. Feel free to borrow mine, or share your thoughts on your own. I would love to hear how everyone plans on parenting in the new year, unless you are already perfect and don't plan any changes. In that case, please let me know your secret.
I have already resolved to carry out this act of kindness thing that seems so popular now. I always try to be good to others, but now it is a cultural trend with all the books and websites about it. Since this was already part of my lifestyle, I have decided to blog about it to show people that it really is easy to implement, and there is no need it has to be a great, unheard of idea. It is quite simple actually, and I include it here because I want my children to know that it is a natural part of being a good person. It is not anything new in our family to do nice things for others, because my children will grow up knowing that we try to be nice whenever we can, just because we can. So check out my new blog Jan, 1/13, to see how I am making people smile one day at a time. www.niceadaybyday.blogspot.com
On the more personal side of things, here are my resolutions for just my family and myself:
1. I resolve to take a deep breath before I start yelling at my kids. This will serve two purposes. If I am yelling for no good reason, I can take a moment to change my approach. If I am yelling for a good reason, it will be much more effective if it has breath behind it.
2. I resolve to count the number of vegetable servings my children have each day. I know I am able to do this, because it is usually only one or two (I have very picky eaters). That's easy enough for me to remember. The fruit servings will be counted next year.
3. I resolve to get the number of vegetable servings up to three by the end of 2013. If this means I serve peas for breakfast or put broccoli in their grilled cheese, I will do it. I can count to three almost as easily as 2.
4. I resolve to teach by example. I will be aware of my tone and volume as much as I can, even when I am upset. I will verbalize when I am frustrated and allow my children to see my attempts to calm down. I will reinforce that this is the way to deal with our emotions in a healthy way, and if I do throw a temper tantrum, my kids get a free pass for meltdowns for the rest of the day. And I will eat three servings of vegetables a day
Those are my parenting resolutions. I think they are good ones. Feel free to borrow mine, or share your thoughts on your own. I would love to hear how everyone plans on parenting in the new year, unless you are already perfect and don't plan any changes. In that case, please let me know your secret.
Thursday 20 December 2012
Kids and commercials
I remember when we had good old cable, and all the Treehouse shows. Bob the Builder with advertisements for the latest toy tool sets, or Chuggington with the advertisements for all the new train tracks. I don't know why toy manufacturers think it's necessary to develop 18 different track sets, all with specific trains that don't go on other tracks, and then advertise them all on the same channel so kids want every single one.
Ah commercialism. Those were also the days my oldest son wanted everything new and fancy that he saw. The days when he didn't like his brand new toy because he just saw a brand newer one on TV. The days when "I want" were heard throughout the household approximately every six minutes. Those were also the days that the Wish List for Christmas changed at least twice a day in December. It took some finagling to get him back to his original Wish List before Santa came.
Now we have Netflix. For those who don't know much about it, here are the basics. It costs $8 a month. It doesn't feature the new shows or seasons, but it has a lot of very popular ones that are one or two seasons old. It also has hundreds (maybe thousands) of movies. After you have watched a few shows it will take the information and develop a rating system based on what you like to watch, so if you are looking for a movie and Netfliz thinks it will suit you, it will show four or five stars. It also gives recommendations based on the rating system. Best of all, there are no commercials.
Since getting Netflix, my five year old has been appreciating his toys more. He has always been limited in the television that he watches, but even with only one hour a day of kids shows, it worked out to about twenty minutes of advertising. That's twenty minutes of new cars and trucks, trains and tracks, video games and websites. Now an hour a day means he gets to watch an hour of programming, which I think is better.
He will remain excited about a new toy for months now, instead of wishing he bought something else instead that same day. When he gets sick of playing with a toy, instead of automatically thinking of a new one to ask for, he will spend his time in creative pursuits, like drawing or writing. He is an avid reader too. The point is, instead of relying on the newest products to feel amused, he can now use his imagination to find ways to entertain himself.
There is also the food aspect of commercials. I'm sure everyone has seen a commercial about a hamburger or cinnamon bun and then wanted it, needed it, had to have it now. Kids television promotes restaurants like McDonalds and food like chicken nuggets or Tater Tots. Now that my boys don't see that every day, I am relieved of the constant requests for more junk food. It makes it much easier to convince them that real food is normal, and takeout or convenience food is best left for treats, and only once in a while. Try telling a kid who sees a chicken McNugget five times a day that it's not normal to have it every day. That conversation can never end well.
Our family as a whole doesn't watch TV that much, so it made sense to save $50 a month and switch from cable. I never considered how the commercials affected my oldest boy until afterward, when he stopped asking for so much and began to get creative about playing. I realized I was doing him a great disservice by not worrying about the commercials he saw regularly. Limiting TV time and controlling the shows he watched was only one part of the equation.
I am always glad I'm so miserly and concerned about saving money. There are moments when I get a great deal and mentally congratulate myself. This is just another example of how being frugal can have other, more significant benefits. Go Netflix!
Ah commercialism. Those were also the days my oldest son wanted everything new and fancy that he saw. The days when he didn't like his brand new toy because he just saw a brand newer one on TV. The days when "I want" were heard throughout the household approximately every six minutes. Those were also the days that the Wish List for Christmas changed at least twice a day in December. It took some finagling to get him back to his original Wish List before Santa came.
Now we have Netflix. For those who don't know much about it, here are the basics. It costs $8 a month. It doesn't feature the new shows or seasons, but it has a lot of very popular ones that are one or two seasons old. It also has hundreds (maybe thousands) of movies. After you have watched a few shows it will take the information and develop a rating system based on what you like to watch, so if you are looking for a movie and Netfliz thinks it will suit you, it will show four or five stars. It also gives recommendations based on the rating system. Best of all, there are no commercials.
Since getting Netflix, my five year old has been appreciating his toys more. He has always been limited in the television that he watches, but even with only one hour a day of kids shows, it worked out to about twenty minutes of advertising. That's twenty minutes of new cars and trucks, trains and tracks, video games and websites. Now an hour a day means he gets to watch an hour of programming, which I think is better.
He will remain excited about a new toy for months now, instead of wishing he bought something else instead that same day. When he gets sick of playing with a toy, instead of automatically thinking of a new one to ask for, he will spend his time in creative pursuits, like drawing or writing. He is an avid reader too. The point is, instead of relying on the newest products to feel amused, he can now use his imagination to find ways to entertain himself.
There is also the food aspect of commercials. I'm sure everyone has seen a commercial about a hamburger or cinnamon bun and then wanted it, needed it, had to have it now. Kids television promotes restaurants like McDonalds and food like chicken nuggets or Tater Tots. Now that my boys don't see that every day, I am relieved of the constant requests for more junk food. It makes it much easier to convince them that real food is normal, and takeout or convenience food is best left for treats, and only once in a while. Try telling a kid who sees a chicken McNugget five times a day that it's not normal to have it every day. That conversation can never end well.
Our family as a whole doesn't watch TV that much, so it made sense to save $50 a month and switch from cable. I never considered how the commercials affected my oldest boy until afterward, when he stopped asking for so much and began to get creative about playing. I realized I was doing him a great disservice by not worrying about the commercials he saw regularly. Limiting TV time and controlling the shows he watched was only one part of the equation.
I am always glad I'm so miserly and concerned about saving money. There are moments when I get a great deal and mentally congratulate myself. This is just another example of how being frugal can have other, more significant benefits. Go Netflix!
Christmas wrapping conundrums
I have a confession. I am hopeless at wrapping presents. My kids can always tell which ones I have wrapped because they are so messy, with tape everywhere, bulges at the corners, and uneven lines. I feel a little bad at Christmas time over this, but I can't dwell on it. I give myself maybe a minute to think it over, and then forget about it and keep wrapping.
I don't know why my present wrapping skills are so undeveloped. I have had plenty of experience, and I'm just not improving. Here's why it doesn't bother me though.
I know children like to unwrap presents, rather than pluck them out from a gift bag. I have done the gift bags before, but it's just not the same. They are too expensive besides. I know I can collect all the ones I get from other people is not an issue, but I can never find them when I need them. And recycling gift bags means that I may not have the right size when I need it. Giving someone a small book in a bag that could fit an elephant or hippo seems silly. And I always have to buy tissue paper, which defeats the purpose of saving money.
Wrapping paper is also expensive, so I usually don't go in for that (although my husband would rather see a neat and tidy gift in pretty paper). Most of the gifts I wrap come in recycled newspaper or flyers. I justify this to my nieces and nephews by telling them it was going to be recycled anyhow, so I may as well use it first. I am teaching them about sustainability and re-purposing. And newspaper doesn't call so much attention to the sloppy wrapping job. I comfort myself with the fact that when they are older, they will appreciate that there is something different about their auntie's gifts, even if it is the packaging. I like to be unique.
Similarly, I try to use current flyers for adult presents. I always circle the great deals before wrapping, and try to be considerate of personal interests. For example, if my sister buys a lot of infant formula I will circle the advertised sale for that formula, so she knows where to buy it and when. I think it is a nice bonus to the gift that's inside.
I don't have to tell you again that I like cutting corners to keep costs down. So instead of buying expensive gift tags I pull out my trusty Sharpie. Yes, I Sharpie the names on top of the presents instead of using gift tags. If I am feeling extravagant I might even put a smiley face or a holiday greeting on it as well.
So when Christmas comes and it's the Evening To Wrap Gifts, I gather all my recycled and cheap tools and go to it. No one has ever complained before about the messy job, or the fact that their names are written on the paper, or even that it comes in the weekly news. It could be that people are more charitable and forgiving at Christmas time, but it could also be that no one thinks of this stuff but me.
I don't know why my present wrapping skills are so undeveloped. I have had plenty of experience, and I'm just not improving. Here's why it doesn't bother me though.
I know children like to unwrap presents, rather than pluck them out from a gift bag. I have done the gift bags before, but it's just not the same. They are too expensive besides. I know I can collect all the ones I get from other people is not an issue, but I can never find them when I need them. And recycling gift bags means that I may not have the right size when I need it. Giving someone a small book in a bag that could fit an elephant or hippo seems silly. And I always have to buy tissue paper, which defeats the purpose of saving money.
Wrapping paper is also expensive, so I usually don't go in for that (although my husband would rather see a neat and tidy gift in pretty paper). Most of the gifts I wrap come in recycled newspaper or flyers. I justify this to my nieces and nephews by telling them it was going to be recycled anyhow, so I may as well use it first. I am teaching them about sustainability and re-purposing. And newspaper doesn't call so much attention to the sloppy wrapping job. I comfort myself with the fact that when they are older, they will appreciate that there is something different about their auntie's gifts, even if it is the packaging. I like to be unique.
Similarly, I try to use current flyers for adult presents. I always circle the great deals before wrapping, and try to be considerate of personal interests. For example, if my sister buys a lot of infant formula I will circle the advertised sale for that formula, so she knows where to buy it and when. I think it is a nice bonus to the gift that's inside.
I don't have to tell you again that I like cutting corners to keep costs down. So instead of buying expensive gift tags I pull out my trusty Sharpie. Yes, I Sharpie the names on top of the presents instead of using gift tags. If I am feeling extravagant I might even put a smiley face or a holiday greeting on it as well.
So when Christmas comes and it's the Evening To Wrap Gifts, I gather all my recycled and cheap tools and go to it. No one has ever complained before about the messy job, or the fact that their names are written on the paper, or even that it comes in the weekly news. It could be that people are more charitable and forgiving at Christmas time, but it could also be that no one thinks of this stuff but me.
Monday 17 December 2012
Reflections on the inhuman
If you are a parent and have heard about the recent elementary school shooting in the United States, you can relate to this post. No matter how busy we all are, I think we should take a few moments in response to this inhuman catastrophe.
The first moment for me is to grieve for all those 18 children, mostly 6 and 7 years old, with all that future and potential ahead of them. Now it's gone and there is nothing that can bring it back, That's sad and I am going to be sad for them. My one boy is five, and I can't even imagine what those parents are going through. Every one of those kids was someone's brightest light, and goodbye came too soon.
My second moment is to grieve for the parents. I can't do anything to make their loss easier, and I want them all to know that they should never have had to go through that. I think it's every parent's worst nightmare to survive their own children. I only hope that they all have a strong support network and can get through this, in whatever way possible.
My third moment is to be thankful for every second I get to spend with my own children. No matter what those parents are going through I am sure they cherish the moments they did have before. And no matter where those kids are I hope they still have a sense that they were loved and appreciated. I am going to take as many moments as I can to ensure my own children know this now and forever. I can't imagine going through anything like this, and I am sure there are many parents who feel the same.
Now even though I am not religious, I am going to take my final moment to pray to whatever or whoever may be out there that these senseless massacres stop. It is not common, even with all the media sensationalism that would have us believe differently. It is not a high chance that it will ever happen to someone I know or someone they know, but to have it happen to one person is too much. It needs to stop. That's what I'm praying for.
Personally, I have only read two news articles about the shooting and can't read anymore right now. It hits too close to home. But I can still grieve for all those lives lost in a pointless massacre. I think that no matter how busy we are as parents and workers and caregivers, we can at least offer a moment to grieve for those victims and their survivors. Even if that's all we can do.
The first moment for me is to grieve for all those 18 children, mostly 6 and 7 years old, with all that future and potential ahead of them. Now it's gone and there is nothing that can bring it back, That's sad and I am going to be sad for them. My one boy is five, and I can't even imagine what those parents are going through. Every one of those kids was someone's brightest light, and goodbye came too soon.
My second moment is to grieve for the parents. I can't do anything to make their loss easier, and I want them all to know that they should never have had to go through that. I think it's every parent's worst nightmare to survive their own children. I only hope that they all have a strong support network and can get through this, in whatever way possible.
My third moment is to be thankful for every second I get to spend with my own children. No matter what those parents are going through I am sure they cherish the moments they did have before. And no matter where those kids are I hope they still have a sense that they were loved and appreciated. I am going to take as many moments as I can to ensure my own children know this now and forever. I can't imagine going through anything like this, and I am sure there are many parents who feel the same.
Now even though I am not religious, I am going to take my final moment to pray to whatever or whoever may be out there that these senseless massacres stop. It is not common, even with all the media sensationalism that would have us believe differently. It is not a high chance that it will ever happen to someone I know or someone they know, but to have it happen to one person is too much. It needs to stop. That's what I'm praying for.
Personally, I have only read two news articles about the shooting and can't read anymore right now. It hits too close to home. But I can still grieve for all those lives lost in a pointless massacre. I think that no matter how busy we are as parents and workers and caregivers, we can at least offer a moment to grieve for those victims and their survivors. Even if that's all we can do.
Wednesday 12 December 2012
Keeping Perspective
There are times as a mother when you just want to scream. Or hit something (an inanimate something, like a wall of course). Or tear at your hair. If you haven't experienced this as a mother yet, don't waste a moment's sleep. You will.
There are days when everything goes wrong. You manage to get your toddler into his snowsuit after ten minutes of struggle only to realize he has just filled his diaper and needs to be changed. Now you will miss the bus. You spend time getting an elaborate lunch of homemade and healthy soup ready just to drop it on the floor. You make your first coffee of the day and then your five-year old believes it is a great idea to put a granola bar in it, to add some protein of course. Your child (who hasn't wet the bed in years) does this two nights in a row.
All of this happened to me over the past four days. And last night my sick baby puked all over his crib and floor at 1 am. I dragged myself out of bed (I wasn't asleep yet of course, because the older one had just been sleepwalking around his room looking for toast), cleaned the mattress and floor and changed the sheets. Baby boy decided it was time to feel better so took a little stroll through the bedrooms, waking up his brother again. After the crib was suitable again, I laid him down and he threw up again. So I went through the whole process a second time. I was considering pulling him into bed with me to avoid the cleaning, but he may have thrown up on me and a shower in the middle of the night is not my thing. There are limits to how much I want to clean up. Besides, baby boy likes to play in the toilet when I'm in the shower, and I'm not going to go there again.
So this has been my week. It's been a pretty messy and smelly one, filled with bodily fluids and reminiscent of my group home days. But when I feel awake enough to scream about it, I try to put things in perspective. Sure it's gross. Yes, I would rather sleep than clean up vomit and urine. But really, it's to be expected. Kids get sick and kids have accidents, and this stage is not going to last forever. I am going to miss these days when my boys are teenagers and want nothing to do with me. Maybe not the specific messes, but the fact that they need me so much now.
It's why I chose to stay home instead of working. It's why my husband and I make so many sacrifices concerning money. I want to be the one there when they hurt themselves, or need an extra cuddle because they are sick. I want to have all those great stories of the funny things they did and what they got into (like the toilet). I remember this when I have hard days or weeks and all of a sudden it starts to seem, if not funny, at least acceptable. And then I go hug my children, even if they're covered in yucky stuff.
There are days when everything goes wrong. You manage to get your toddler into his snowsuit after ten minutes of struggle only to realize he has just filled his diaper and needs to be changed. Now you will miss the bus. You spend time getting an elaborate lunch of homemade and healthy soup ready just to drop it on the floor. You make your first coffee of the day and then your five-year old believes it is a great idea to put a granola bar in it, to add some protein of course. Your child (who hasn't wet the bed in years) does this two nights in a row.
All of this happened to me over the past four days. And last night my sick baby puked all over his crib and floor at 1 am. I dragged myself out of bed (I wasn't asleep yet of course, because the older one had just been sleepwalking around his room looking for toast), cleaned the mattress and floor and changed the sheets. Baby boy decided it was time to feel better so took a little stroll through the bedrooms, waking up his brother again. After the crib was suitable again, I laid him down and he threw up again. So I went through the whole process a second time. I was considering pulling him into bed with me to avoid the cleaning, but he may have thrown up on me and a shower in the middle of the night is not my thing. There are limits to how much I want to clean up. Besides, baby boy likes to play in the toilet when I'm in the shower, and I'm not going to go there again.
So this has been my week. It's been a pretty messy and smelly one, filled with bodily fluids and reminiscent of my group home days. But when I feel awake enough to scream about it, I try to put things in perspective. Sure it's gross. Yes, I would rather sleep than clean up vomit and urine. But really, it's to be expected. Kids get sick and kids have accidents, and this stage is not going to last forever. I am going to miss these days when my boys are teenagers and want nothing to do with me. Maybe not the specific messes, but the fact that they need me so much now.
It's why I chose to stay home instead of working. It's why my husband and I make so many sacrifices concerning money. I want to be the one there when they hurt themselves, or need an extra cuddle because they are sick. I want to have all those great stories of the funny things they did and what they got into (like the toilet). I remember this when I have hard days or weeks and all of a sudden it starts to seem, if not funny, at least acceptable. And then I go hug my children, even if they're covered in yucky stuff.
Tuesday 11 December 2012
Teething!
My baby is a happy baby. I know people say that all the time about their babies, but eh is a really happy baby. I don't know why because he hardly sleeps, but I'm not complaining about his mood (only about his sleep). By happy I mean a wall can make him laugh, and regularly does.
One of his first words was "look" (or LOOH LOOH to be technical). He points at something random, like a tree, says "LOOH!" and laughs and claps. He smiles at anyone who makes eye contact, he laughs at most noises (even the vacuum), and is so much fun to be around.
Today was a hard day for the poor little guy. He is teething, and for some reason his teeth don't want to come in order. He has six front teeth and four molars, with huge gaps in between, where the rest of his teeth should have come in first. He is having a tough time of it. Today he was crying from the start, and refusing to eat. He managed some apple sauce and yogourt, but anything else was torture.
I get it though. I don't personally remember cutting my first teeth, but if it makes my happy guy so miserable it must be painful. Here is some general information and all the tips I can share for anyone going through the same with their babies.
Drool and stool
- It is common knowledge that babies who are teething drool more than normal. This is often accompanied by looser bowel movements, because of increased saliva production. They are swallowing most of it, and it affects their stool. It is not full-blown diarrhea, but close. To firm things up a bit, go with the BRAT diet. Bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.
Diaper rash
-Even if baby's poops are not affected, teething commonly causes diaper rash. Just like the rash that develops on a baby's chin from drooling, the rash will develop on the bum because of the excess of saliva that has been ingested. Sometimes it is minor and sometimes it can be very severe. If there is no improvement withing two or three days of applying diaper cream, go to the doctor. Avoid giving baby any spicy foods when he has a diaper rash, as some will aggravate it further.
Cold works-unless it doesn't
- Most doctors recommend letting a baby chew on a chilled teething toy or frozen banana. This sounds great in theory and for some lucky people it might work, but I have found that when the gums are so sensitive, the extreme temperature just makes it worse. I have seen parents force cold chewy things on their children until they accept them, but this doesn't make sense to me. If it's not helping, try something else.
Teething toys
- Most babies love chewing on things and teething toys or gadgets are specifically designed to be chewable. Neither of my boys can stand them. So if you have a child that loves a certain teething apparatus, buy it in bulk. If your child will not take one, let it go.
Wet washcloths
- These have actually worked for both of my children to provide some relief for pain. Wet a wash cloth (experiment with temperature to find what your child prefers), squeeze it out, and let them chomp away.
Soft Foods,
- If your baby normally eats like a horse (which mine does), and suddenly starts refusing all his favourite foods when he is teething, you may have to rely on soup, yogourt, applesauce, and pureed foods to get you by. A cranky baby is not going to appreciate being hungry. Be aware of temperatures though; I have to serve everything at room temperature, because if it is slightly cool or slightly warm, he won't eat it.
Bedtime
- Even if you have established a regular and peaceful bedtime routine, expect some disruptions with teething. Some babies who go to sleep easily will scream after being put down. It could be because they have tried to go to sleep and the pain makes it difficult, or it could be that during this time your baby needs extra comfort. Go with your instinct and spend some extra time comforting him. You can always re-establish your regular routine in a few days.
Your baby may act like a different child:
Don't be alarmed. That red, puffy, screaming child is really yours. Throwing temper tantrums and testing limits is pretty common with teething.
When all else fails, use distraction. Do whatever it takes to keep your little one busy and distracted, and he might not cry quite so much. This is exactly what I had to do today. I took my cranky baby to a local play centre and held my breath. I thought that since he was not in good spirits it might have been a disaster. To my surprise, he forgot all about being miserable and played with everything twice. Trains, climbers, dolls, cars, crayons, animals, puzzles, etc. He was happily occupied for three hours of the morning, and it was only when we got home that he realized he was still in a bad mood. Out comes the apple sauce...
One of his first words was "look" (or LOOH LOOH to be technical). He points at something random, like a tree, says "LOOH!" and laughs and claps. He smiles at anyone who makes eye contact, he laughs at most noises (even the vacuum), and is so much fun to be around.
Today was a hard day for the poor little guy. He is teething, and for some reason his teeth don't want to come in order. He has six front teeth and four molars, with huge gaps in between, where the rest of his teeth should have come in first. He is having a tough time of it. Today he was crying from the start, and refusing to eat. He managed some apple sauce and yogourt, but anything else was torture.
I get it though. I don't personally remember cutting my first teeth, but if it makes my happy guy so miserable it must be painful. Here is some general information and all the tips I can share for anyone going through the same with their babies.
Drool and stool
- It is common knowledge that babies who are teething drool more than normal. This is often accompanied by looser bowel movements, because of increased saliva production. They are swallowing most of it, and it affects their stool. It is not full-blown diarrhea, but close. To firm things up a bit, go with the BRAT diet. Bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.
Diaper rash
-Even if baby's poops are not affected, teething commonly causes diaper rash. Just like the rash that develops on a baby's chin from drooling, the rash will develop on the bum because of the excess of saliva that has been ingested. Sometimes it is minor and sometimes it can be very severe. If there is no improvement withing two or three days of applying diaper cream, go to the doctor. Avoid giving baby any spicy foods when he has a diaper rash, as some will aggravate it further.
Cold works-unless it doesn't
- Most doctors recommend letting a baby chew on a chilled teething toy or frozen banana. This sounds great in theory and for some lucky people it might work, but I have found that when the gums are so sensitive, the extreme temperature just makes it worse. I have seen parents force cold chewy things on their children until they accept them, but this doesn't make sense to me. If it's not helping, try something else.
Teething toys
- Most babies love chewing on things and teething toys or gadgets are specifically designed to be chewable. Neither of my boys can stand them. So if you have a child that loves a certain teething apparatus, buy it in bulk. If your child will not take one, let it go.
Wet washcloths
- These have actually worked for both of my children to provide some relief for pain. Wet a wash cloth (experiment with temperature to find what your child prefers), squeeze it out, and let them chomp away.
Soft Foods,
- If your baby normally eats like a horse (which mine does), and suddenly starts refusing all his favourite foods when he is teething, you may have to rely on soup, yogourt, applesauce, and pureed foods to get you by. A cranky baby is not going to appreciate being hungry. Be aware of temperatures though; I have to serve everything at room temperature, because if it is slightly cool or slightly warm, he won't eat it.
Bedtime
- Even if you have established a regular and peaceful bedtime routine, expect some disruptions with teething. Some babies who go to sleep easily will scream after being put down. It could be because they have tried to go to sleep and the pain makes it difficult, or it could be that during this time your baby needs extra comfort. Go with your instinct and spend some extra time comforting him. You can always re-establish your regular routine in a few days.
Your baby may act like a different child:
Don't be alarmed. That red, puffy, screaming child is really yours. Throwing temper tantrums and testing limits is pretty common with teething.
When all else fails, use distraction. Do whatever it takes to keep your little one busy and distracted, and he might not cry quite so much. This is exactly what I had to do today. I took my cranky baby to a local play centre and held my breath. I thought that since he was not in good spirits it might have been a disaster. To my surprise, he forgot all about being miserable and played with everything twice. Trains, climbers, dolls, cars, crayons, animals, puzzles, etc. He was happily occupied for three hours of the morning, and it was only when we got home that he realized he was still in a bad mood. Out comes the apple sauce...
Sunday 9 December 2012
Fun games to play with kids
I don't mind rainy days because it's nice to stay at homes sometimes. When the days are clear, even if it's cold, my kids need to go outside or take a trip somewhere. Even staying at home though, I need to find a way for them to burn off that energy or engage their minds. For all those of you who are sick of hearing "I'm bored, what can I do?" (that's a direct quote), here are a few options for indoor fun:
Hide and Seek is great to play indoors, as long as your kids know they have to stay indoors. It really spoils the fun if you find them outside under the deck after yelling for hours.....
Freeze Tag is perfect for kids with a lot of energy. Just make sure you're always one step behind them so you can "freeze" them before they know over that lamp.
Make a fort. This is so overlooked it's not even funny. It will amuse a baby as much as a ten-year old. Grab some blankets, put them over some furniture, make little rooms, whatever you want. It's really quite fun for adults too. If your blankets don't stay up you can use masking tape.
For children above three, Go Fish is a good one. For children younger, let them play with the cards anyway. If they make up silly rules, even better. Or make a card house. Avoid this if you don't have patience for nit-picky activities or a tendency to use curse words in frustration. Trust me. It's not for the faint of heart.
Get out some old sheets and bristol board. Then dump some paint on it and get messy. This is especially fun if your kids paint with their feet. When Jimmy was three I would hold his hands and he would run on the paint like a treadmill. Make sure you have a bath ready before you dip your kids in paint though.
Set up an obstacle course. Move some furniture around and set a path to the finish. Jump over pillows, crawl under tables or chairs, walk behind a couch. With the time it takes to set up, complete the course, and clean up afterwards, you will have passed the entire afternoon.
Dance Freeze is fun and a good way to exercise. Put on some fast music (preferably with a remote) and dance away. Stop the music every once in a while to see who can stay in the funniest position for the longest.
Have an ABC I Spy game. Start with A and take turns spying something with that letter. Go through the alphabet, giving a point for each letter completed successfully. Kids love hunting for things.
Play a pretend game that's not House. The more creative, the better. Set up a fake department store with some clothes and dishes, or a pretend school with the table for a desk. One that Jimmy used to love is Library. Get some props and act out a trip somewhere that's important to learn about. If you're really tired, play Bus. Tell your little one to pretend they are riding a bus, sitting nice and still and quiet.....
Sometimes a rainy day can drive you and your kids stir-crazy. I hope some of these ideas help to pass the time and keep everyone busy and happy.
Hide and Seek is great to play indoors, as long as your kids know they have to stay indoors. It really spoils the fun if you find them outside under the deck after yelling for hours.....
Freeze Tag is perfect for kids with a lot of energy. Just make sure you're always one step behind them so you can "freeze" them before they know over that lamp.
Make a fort. This is so overlooked it's not even funny. It will amuse a baby as much as a ten-year old. Grab some blankets, put them over some furniture, make little rooms, whatever you want. It's really quite fun for adults too. If your blankets don't stay up you can use masking tape.
For children above three, Go Fish is a good one. For children younger, let them play with the cards anyway. If they make up silly rules, even better. Or make a card house. Avoid this if you don't have patience for nit-picky activities or a tendency to use curse words in frustration. Trust me. It's not for the faint of heart.
Get out some old sheets and bristol board. Then dump some paint on it and get messy. This is especially fun if your kids paint with their feet. When Jimmy was three I would hold his hands and he would run on the paint like a treadmill. Make sure you have a bath ready before you dip your kids in paint though.
Set up an obstacle course. Move some furniture around and set a path to the finish. Jump over pillows, crawl under tables or chairs, walk behind a couch. With the time it takes to set up, complete the course, and clean up afterwards, you will have passed the entire afternoon.
Dance Freeze is fun and a good way to exercise. Put on some fast music (preferably with a remote) and dance away. Stop the music every once in a while to see who can stay in the funniest position for the longest.
Have an ABC I Spy game. Start with A and take turns spying something with that letter. Go through the alphabet, giving a point for each letter completed successfully. Kids love hunting for things.
Play a pretend game that's not House. The more creative, the better. Set up a fake department store with some clothes and dishes, or a pretend school with the table for a desk. One that Jimmy used to love is Library. Get some props and act out a trip somewhere that's important to learn about. If you're really tired, play Bus. Tell your little one to pretend they are riding a bus, sitting nice and still and quiet.....
Sometimes a rainy day can drive you and your kids stir-crazy. I hope some of these ideas help to pass the time and keep everyone busy and happy.
Thursday 6 December 2012
Pictures with Santa
My monster-sized calendar on the fridge is always full for December. I need to schedule everything, from when to send out cards and gifts to what day we are donating toys. Yesterday was Pictures with Santa Day. Hint for all those who are planning to do this: find out when Santa takes his dinner break. Usually if you go five or ten minutes before he is scheduled to return, the waiting will be minimal. Don't do it on the weekend or right after school. These are usually the busiest times in my experience.
While we were in line, my husband commented that maybe we should have dressed the kids up a bit more. There were lots of little girls in fancy dresses and boys with ties. I have no problem with my children dressing normally though. They look more natural if they are comfortable, and I wouldn't recognize either of them in fancy clothes. Besides, Santa is non-judgmental enough to love them despite their casual attire.
Of course Eddie cried for Santa. Originally, I tried to have Jimmy hold him but he almost dropped him so it was up to Santa. Eddie screamed and fought the entire time. My theory for why this is so common among young children is that Santa comes but once a year. He is unfamiliar to children so they are naturally a bit nervous of him. Jimmy's smile came out a little false, but then that's pretty normal for kids in pictures.
Directly after picking up the pictures, we stopped at the toy table to get the winter gear on again. Eddie was happily playing with wooden beads when he fell and knocked his head on the table, causing lots of blood and a black eye. At least it happened after the pictures though. He already looked tortured enough without the injury.
It makes me question which traditions are important enough to keep over the holidays. We have already left the Santa Clause Parade off my huge calendar, because it is always scheduled for the coldest day of the year and Jimmy doesn't enjoy it at all. The floats are not as fancy as they once were, I'll admit. Jimmy doesn't even like the candy they give out. He does like his picture with Santa though. In hindsight, maybe I should have let Jimmy get a picture and held off until next year for Eddie. I think he would understand when he's older the reason why.
I want to make sure that Christmas is fun for our whole family. It is a slow learning process though, and maybe once the kids are ready to move out I will have it perfected. Until then, I want to focus on having a mostly happy family, and teaching them to be generous.
While we were in line, my husband commented that maybe we should have dressed the kids up a bit more. There were lots of little girls in fancy dresses and boys with ties. I have no problem with my children dressing normally though. They look more natural if they are comfortable, and I wouldn't recognize either of them in fancy clothes. Besides, Santa is non-judgmental enough to love them despite their casual attire.
Of course Eddie cried for Santa. Originally, I tried to have Jimmy hold him but he almost dropped him so it was up to Santa. Eddie screamed and fought the entire time. My theory for why this is so common among young children is that Santa comes but once a year. He is unfamiliar to children so they are naturally a bit nervous of him. Jimmy's smile came out a little false, but then that's pretty normal for kids in pictures.
Directly after picking up the pictures, we stopped at the toy table to get the winter gear on again. Eddie was happily playing with wooden beads when he fell and knocked his head on the table, causing lots of blood and a black eye. At least it happened after the pictures though. He already looked tortured enough without the injury.
It makes me question which traditions are important enough to keep over the holidays. We have already left the Santa Clause Parade off my huge calendar, because it is always scheduled for the coldest day of the year and Jimmy doesn't enjoy it at all. The floats are not as fancy as they once were, I'll admit. Jimmy doesn't even like the candy they give out. He does like his picture with Santa though. In hindsight, maybe I should have let Jimmy get a picture and held off until next year for Eddie. I think he would understand when he's older the reason why.
I want to make sure that Christmas is fun for our whole family. It is a slow learning process though, and maybe once the kids are ready to move out I will have it perfected. Until then, I want to focus on having a mostly happy family, and teaching them to be generous.
Monday 3 December 2012
Um, pardon me?
There are some times when I think that mothering comes more naturally to some than others. I have a friend with a four-year old boy and I have never heard her raise her voice. I've never even heard a frustrated tone from her. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever heard her say "no." She will discipline of course, but it always seems to be positive discipline. Of course, I don't know what goes on when I'm not around, but from what I do see she has the patience of a saint. And that's not to say her child even misbehaves, but there are days when I can't imagine even the slightest mistake causing me frustration.
I am patient. I am caring. But yes, I have lost it on a few occasions. There are days when mommy needs a timeout. I have never been mean to my children though. If I notice that my voice sounds angry I apologize, take a minute, and return to the conversation with a nicer tone. I understand my children aren't always trying to make me upset. I don't know when good judgment naturally develops, but it's not by age 5. The point is I try. I will be reasonable and kind with my discipline, as much as I am able to.
So try to imagine my surprise when, on the bus, I heard a woman telling her 6 year old daughter to "Sit down and shut up, or I will throw you out of this bus and it will run you over!" What? That's not even a joke. Maybe at some point it was trying to be but I'm not going to give it the benefit of the doubt. There are some things you just don't say to kids.
It amazes me that people come up with these ways of speaking to anyone, much less their own children. I have heard many lines, among them: "Stop or I'll make your *** red," "Shove it," "Be quiet or you will live in the basement," "I will send you away forever," and "Do you want to be smacked?" These are only the ones that stand out in my memory, but when I hear things like this I have to wonder, should these people have kids?
A side note; I am not talking about parents who make mistakes. Most parents have had a moment when they realize what they've just said is completely inappropriate. The damage here can be minimal if apologies are made and things are explained to a child. And I am not promoting the idea of children having total freedom either. Children need discipline, but it can be just as effective if it is enforced in a respectful way. I am talking here about parents who use this language with their children as naturally as breathing, and you can tell when that's the case. It's easy to recognize when this is a normal pattern.
I know that sometimes having a bad day makes a parent less patient. I know that there are things that happen in the adult world that have nothing to do with kids that put us in a vicious mood. But the important thing is, this has nothing to do with the kids! Don't take it out on them. Worse is when people are having a fine day but they talk to their children like this anyway. Since when was it okay to threaten a child by being run over? Or sending a child away forever? I know the times have changed and spanking is not tolerated by the law, but why is it okay to replace it with threats?
If most parents would stop to think, they would realize that most of the time children do not deliberately make us angry. There are times when they test their limits, and there are times when they just want to break the rules, but for the most part they try to please us when they are young. Children make mistakes. Adults make mistakes. The difference is, adults have the choice to learn from their mistakes. Children rely on parents to teach them. Speaking to children in a derogatory, insulting, or threatening way is not going to help the child learn positive behaviour.
Making a child feel appreciated is paramount to teaching a child about respect and boundaries. A kid who hears threats spoken in anger will go through isolation and a feeling of never being good enough. It doesn't matter if a parent threatens once, or threatens a hundred times. Once is too much.
Children who are spoken to this way are more likely to develop anger and control issues, because they are not supported or nurtured when they make an honest mistake. They are learning instead that the parent is the boss, and these are the rules. Follow the rules, or else. Or else what? It's different in every case but it's never good. At least not according to the threats. When these children grow up they will not have the tools to make healthy choices. They will not have positive role models to connect with. They will have learned that it is okay to respond to a problem with anger and intimidation.
Maybe I should have said something to the mom on the bus. I didn't and I am a little ashamed. My reason though, was that my own children were with me and I don't want them to pay any attention to that language. If I pay attention to it, they are more likely to be affected by it. And I really don't think mentioning it would have changed any patterns of bahaviour. Some might disagree, but that's my reason. And there were at least 30 other people on that bus who didn't say anything. This is not a justification, but I bring it up because it makes me wonder if they disapproved of the way a mother was talking to her child, or if they thought it was fine. I didn't. And I never will. If people like that aren't willing to speak to their children as humans, maybe people like that shouldn't reproduce.
I am patient. I am caring. But yes, I have lost it on a few occasions. There are days when mommy needs a timeout. I have never been mean to my children though. If I notice that my voice sounds angry I apologize, take a minute, and return to the conversation with a nicer tone. I understand my children aren't always trying to make me upset. I don't know when good judgment naturally develops, but it's not by age 5. The point is I try. I will be reasonable and kind with my discipline, as much as I am able to.
So try to imagine my surprise when, on the bus, I heard a woman telling her 6 year old daughter to "Sit down and shut up, or I will throw you out of this bus and it will run you over!" What? That's not even a joke. Maybe at some point it was trying to be but I'm not going to give it the benefit of the doubt. There are some things you just don't say to kids.
It amazes me that people come up with these ways of speaking to anyone, much less their own children. I have heard many lines, among them: "Stop or I'll make your *** red," "Shove it," "Be quiet or you will live in the basement," "I will send you away forever," and "Do you want to be smacked?" These are only the ones that stand out in my memory, but when I hear things like this I have to wonder, should these people have kids?
A side note; I am not talking about parents who make mistakes. Most parents have had a moment when they realize what they've just said is completely inappropriate. The damage here can be minimal if apologies are made and things are explained to a child. And I am not promoting the idea of children having total freedom either. Children need discipline, but it can be just as effective if it is enforced in a respectful way. I am talking here about parents who use this language with their children as naturally as breathing, and you can tell when that's the case. It's easy to recognize when this is a normal pattern.
I know that sometimes having a bad day makes a parent less patient. I know that there are things that happen in the adult world that have nothing to do with kids that put us in a vicious mood. But the important thing is, this has nothing to do with the kids! Don't take it out on them. Worse is when people are having a fine day but they talk to their children like this anyway. Since when was it okay to threaten a child by being run over? Or sending a child away forever? I know the times have changed and spanking is not tolerated by the law, but why is it okay to replace it with threats?
If most parents would stop to think, they would realize that most of the time children do not deliberately make us angry. There are times when they test their limits, and there are times when they just want to break the rules, but for the most part they try to please us when they are young. Children make mistakes. Adults make mistakes. The difference is, adults have the choice to learn from their mistakes. Children rely on parents to teach them. Speaking to children in a derogatory, insulting, or threatening way is not going to help the child learn positive behaviour.
Making a child feel appreciated is paramount to teaching a child about respect and boundaries. A kid who hears threats spoken in anger will go through isolation and a feeling of never being good enough. It doesn't matter if a parent threatens once, or threatens a hundred times. Once is too much.
Children who are spoken to this way are more likely to develop anger and control issues, because they are not supported or nurtured when they make an honest mistake. They are learning instead that the parent is the boss, and these are the rules. Follow the rules, or else. Or else what? It's different in every case but it's never good. At least not according to the threats. When these children grow up they will not have the tools to make healthy choices. They will not have positive role models to connect with. They will have learned that it is okay to respond to a problem with anger and intimidation.
Maybe I should have said something to the mom on the bus. I didn't and I am a little ashamed. My reason though, was that my own children were with me and I don't want them to pay any attention to that language. If I pay attention to it, they are more likely to be affected by it. And I really don't think mentioning it would have changed any patterns of bahaviour. Some might disagree, but that's my reason. And there were at least 30 other people on that bus who didn't say anything. This is not a justification, but I bring it up because it makes me wonder if they disapproved of the way a mother was talking to her child, or if they thought it was fine. I didn't. And I never will. If people like that aren't willing to speak to their children as humans, maybe people like that shouldn't reproduce.
Wednesday 28 November 2012
Mom on a Budget!
My husband makes pretty good money. He works hard and brings in a pay cheque that allows me to stay home with the kids. We are not rich, but we have enough. In this day and age though, we still need to be frugal, especially in a single income household. If you're looking for some extra cash in your pocket at the end of the week, either for saving or putting toward a special purchase, try some of the habits I have adopted to save money (or spend it wisely).
1. Budget for groceries!
Take a little time to look at food flyers for great sales. If your area does price matching, take all the flyers into the store and get them matched. Yes, it takes longer at the checkout. Yes, you may get weird looks. But seriously, I save at least $30 a week doing this (I have saved up to $50), so it's worth it. To make it a little easier, set aside 15 minutes of uninterrupted time to look at flyers. I find it's easier with a coffee beside me. Use a sharpie and circle all the deals you want. You will only save money this way though if you stick to the unbeatable deals and your regular purchases. If you buy stuff just because it's a great price it will quickly add up. It helps to make your list in advance and only circle the sale items that are on it. Checkout is easier too if you list the items and flyers you are price matching. You won't get nearly as many eye rolls if you are semi-organized about it!
2. Buy Clearance!
Clothes, appliances, toys, whatever. Just buy clearance. A few minor stipulations though. Only buy end of season clothing on clearance if you don't intend to gain or lose a significant amount of weight by next season. In this case it's best to keep the ill-fitting wear for the season and buy your new size after the weather has changed. Appliances can be gotten at super discounts if you are willing to take the floor displays, because they typically have some minor dings or scratches. Case in point: we got our brand new fridge for half price because of 3 little scratches, which don't bother me because it will never take long for my kids to add their own scratches. Make sure any clearance toys are not broken and still safe. Bring it to the store's attention if you see a broken toy that might present a danger to a child; it should be taken off the shelf.
3. Buy Used!
This is similar to above, but you can get things even cheaper this way. Second-hand stores are popular for a reason. Most of the merchandise is still in great condition. On clothing look for wear in the obvious places, like the knees, cuffs, waistband, etc. Don't buy electronics used unless the store will let you test them first. This is also a great way to save money on sports equipment for kids, as most sports equipment is made to last a lot longer than a child will fit into it. There are several websites you can browse to look for specific things. I will post some sites for used buying on my Useful Links Page.
4. Use the Jar Technique!
So there was this show, Til Debt Do Us Part (maybe it's still on, I don't know), where the lady uses jars to sort out money for weekly expenses. I use envelopes though, they are much more discreet and can be hidden easily. The principle is the exact same though. So here's my weekly budget: $100 for groceries (that's for 4 people), $50 for gas, $100 for spending (which no one has to account for at the end of the week). The rest of the bills are in a bank account and are paid by cheque or automatically, so this is all the money I ever handle. With price matching the groceries are usually under $70, and I often don't spend more than $20 a week personally, this is on coffee of course. The money left over is saved for big purchases (like if the coffee machine breaks, OH NO!)
5. Find Free Entertainment!
There's no reason keeping children occupied and social has to be expensive. The park has become a staple outing for us, same with the local library, and other social venues. Check what events are being offered locally for free and take full advantage. Join a mom's group and meet at a variety of places to keep you and the little ones social. Use the money you save for one costly activity for each child. Our choice this year for the oldest is martial arts.
6. Coupons!
I looked into the "extreme couponing" thing but to be honest, I don't get enough excitement out of couponing to devote hours a week to it. However, I do make use of the free ones mailed to me weekly with the local paper, and often check out coupon sites for my regular brands. Combining coupons with price-matched sales can save you a tonne of money! I have gotten so many free Lifestyle cookies, you know the good ones with the chocolate in the middle.....Of course I only remember to bring my coupons half of the time, but for those parents with a good memory it is a helpful habit.
7. Bake as much as you can!
In lieu of buying expensive school snacks like granola bars and rice krispie squares, I try to bake snacks instead. I have found a great recipe for bear paws and one for granola bars that taste I save at least $15 a week baking snacks instead of buying them, and I love knowing exactly what's going into what my kids are eating. Of course if the snacks are on sale and I can price match them with a coupon.....but mostly I make my own. Still trying to get a recipe for easy homemade crackers though.
8. Cloth Diapers!
This is one for all those of you with babies and toddlers. Go with the cloth diapers. They are not that difficult to wash because the washing machine does all the work. The stain cycle or pre-wash cycle gets everything out and you don't need to scrub. It is one of the best ways to save money. Time for some math: $25 a week (minimum) on disposable diapers, 52 weeks in a year, you are spending $1300 on diapers in one year. That's based on one package of diapers per week, and most use more. Buying cloth diapers from birth to toilet training could cost you as little as $300, so you are saving a lot. Then there are the wipes. One package of those a week (let's say they're on sale for $5), and you are paying $260 a year. You can make your own though, see my Random Tops page.
9. Prioritize
The reason I don't know if that show is still on is because I don't have Cable TV. Or satellite TV. That's right. Big fan of Netflix right here. And for $8 a month, why not? It's at least $50 per month less than what we were paying for cable. And my husband and I both have cell phones, but not a landline. If we both need them anyway, why pay more for a phone at home? The point is, look at your bills and figure out what you don't need to be paying for anymore. It's much more effective if you write it down and add up all the money you would save if you got rid of A, B, and C. Oh yeah, and stop subscribing to that magazine! Just look at their website.
I hope some of this helps. I am a bit of a penny pincher and the above is only some of what I do, but I'm on a timeline. Gotta go watch Netflix (seriously, it's got the X-Files!).
1. Budget for groceries!
Take a little time to look at food flyers for great sales. If your area does price matching, take all the flyers into the store and get them matched. Yes, it takes longer at the checkout. Yes, you may get weird looks. But seriously, I save at least $30 a week doing this (I have saved up to $50), so it's worth it. To make it a little easier, set aside 15 minutes of uninterrupted time to look at flyers. I find it's easier with a coffee beside me. Use a sharpie and circle all the deals you want. You will only save money this way though if you stick to the unbeatable deals and your regular purchases. If you buy stuff just because it's a great price it will quickly add up. It helps to make your list in advance and only circle the sale items that are on it. Checkout is easier too if you list the items and flyers you are price matching. You won't get nearly as many eye rolls if you are semi-organized about it!
2. Buy Clearance!
Clothes, appliances, toys, whatever. Just buy clearance. A few minor stipulations though. Only buy end of season clothing on clearance if you don't intend to gain or lose a significant amount of weight by next season. In this case it's best to keep the ill-fitting wear for the season and buy your new size after the weather has changed. Appliances can be gotten at super discounts if you are willing to take the floor displays, because they typically have some minor dings or scratches. Case in point: we got our brand new fridge for half price because of 3 little scratches, which don't bother me because it will never take long for my kids to add their own scratches. Make sure any clearance toys are not broken and still safe. Bring it to the store's attention if you see a broken toy that might present a danger to a child; it should be taken off the shelf.
3. Buy Used!
This is similar to above, but you can get things even cheaper this way. Second-hand stores are popular for a reason. Most of the merchandise is still in great condition. On clothing look for wear in the obvious places, like the knees, cuffs, waistband, etc. Don't buy electronics used unless the store will let you test them first. This is also a great way to save money on sports equipment for kids, as most sports equipment is made to last a lot longer than a child will fit into it. There are several websites you can browse to look for specific things. I will post some sites for used buying on my Useful Links Page.
4. Use the Jar Technique!
So there was this show, Til Debt Do Us Part (maybe it's still on, I don't know), where the lady uses jars to sort out money for weekly expenses. I use envelopes though, they are much more discreet and can be hidden easily. The principle is the exact same though. So here's my weekly budget: $100 for groceries (that's for 4 people), $50 for gas, $100 for spending (which no one has to account for at the end of the week). The rest of the bills are in a bank account and are paid by cheque or automatically, so this is all the money I ever handle. With price matching the groceries are usually under $70, and I often don't spend more than $20 a week personally, this is on coffee of course. The money left over is saved for big purchases (like if the coffee machine breaks, OH NO!)
5. Find Free Entertainment!
There's no reason keeping children occupied and social has to be expensive. The park has become a staple outing for us, same with the local library, and other social venues. Check what events are being offered locally for free and take full advantage. Join a mom's group and meet at a variety of places to keep you and the little ones social. Use the money you save for one costly activity for each child. Our choice this year for the oldest is martial arts.
6. Coupons!
I looked into the "extreme couponing" thing but to be honest, I don't get enough excitement out of couponing to devote hours a week to it. However, I do make use of the free ones mailed to me weekly with the local paper, and often check out coupon sites for my regular brands. Combining coupons with price-matched sales can save you a tonne of money! I have gotten so many free Lifestyle cookies, you know the good ones with the chocolate in the middle.....Of course I only remember to bring my coupons half of the time, but for those parents with a good memory it is a helpful habit.
7. Bake as much as you can!
In lieu of buying expensive school snacks like granola bars and rice krispie squares, I try to bake snacks instead. I have found a great recipe for bear paws and one for granola bars that taste I save at least $15 a week baking snacks instead of buying them, and I love knowing exactly what's going into what my kids are eating. Of course if the snacks are on sale and I can price match them with a coupon.....but mostly I make my own. Still trying to get a recipe for easy homemade crackers though.
8. Cloth Diapers!
This is one for all those of you with babies and toddlers. Go with the cloth diapers. They are not that difficult to wash because the washing machine does all the work. The stain cycle or pre-wash cycle gets everything out and you don't need to scrub. It is one of the best ways to save money. Time for some math: $25 a week (minimum) on disposable diapers, 52 weeks in a year, you are spending $1300 on diapers in one year. That's based on one package of diapers per week, and most use more. Buying cloth diapers from birth to toilet training could cost you as little as $300, so you are saving a lot. Then there are the wipes. One package of those a week (let's say they're on sale for $5), and you are paying $260 a year. You can make your own though, see my Random Tops page.
9. Prioritize
The reason I don't know if that show is still on is because I don't have Cable TV. Or satellite TV. That's right. Big fan of Netflix right here. And for $8 a month, why not? It's at least $50 per month less than what we were paying for cable. And my husband and I both have cell phones, but not a landline. If we both need them anyway, why pay more for a phone at home? The point is, look at your bills and figure out what you don't need to be paying for anymore. It's much more effective if you write it down and add up all the money you would save if you got rid of A, B, and C. Oh yeah, and stop subscribing to that magazine! Just look at their website.
I hope some of this helps. I am a bit of a penny pincher and the above is only some of what I do, but I'm on a timeline. Gotta go watch Netflix (seriously, it's got the X-Files!).
Monday 26 November 2012
ADHD?
Okay, for all those not keeping up with everything I write, first of all shame on you! Second, I have two boys, 1 yr. and 5 yrs. They are both very active, curious, engaged, smart, active, loud, active, well you get the point. In short, they are typical boys. At least I thought they were. Now the latest medical research (you know, the research that likes to label everything) is telling me that they have all the symptoms of ADHD. Difficulty focusing at times: check. Difficulty staying still at times: check. Fidgety at times: check. Cannot maintain focus at times: check. Cannot follow a conversation at times: check. Yes, I suppose they have it. But with that criteria, everyone I've ever met has it too.
I am mainly talking about my five-year old here, as I hope a one year old is too young to diagnose for ADHD. He definitely has all the above symptoms, but what gets me is the "at times." Doesn't every child have a hard time concentrating now and then? There are certain times of the day that he has a bit more difficulty, mainly between 3pm and dinnertime. This is when most people hit their slump though, so that is not surprising. For most of the rest of the day he has no problem sitting down to focus on a task or holding a conversation (he's actually quite good at talking a lot).
And some perspective here.....he's five! He is in his second year of kindergarten, which here means every other day at school, so he hasn't had the opportunity (or a reason) to learn to sit still for long periods of time. Sometimes he has trouble maintaining eye contact during conversations, but only the disciplinary conversations, which he naturally wants to avoid. And he is active. I believe I mentioned that. Hyperactive? No. As soon as he learned to walk I donated his stroller to encourage him to like moving around on his own. Exercise is beneficial and I would like to instill that in my children at the earliest age. But exercise also causes people to have more energy, which is the case with most children I believe.
I have had people tell me (with the best intentions) that he might have a form of ADHD. I pretend I am listening and nod and smile, but really? I know my child. His mood and behaviour is affected by what he eats, how he has slept, and how people interact with him. None of the teachers who have taught or spoken to my son have mentioned anything, so I don't worry about it.
I believe ADHD is over-diagnosed. I am not saying that I believe it's not real; I have first-hand experience as a support worker that tells me it is. I just don't think my boys have it. In Canada over the past decade or so, I read many articles in parenting magazines about the rise in ADHD among children. Most parents didn't worry about ADHD until a teacher told them their child had it. Teachers are not health care professionals, and I don't believe they are qualified to recommend medical treatment for a child, but teachers have recommended the child be checked and put on Ritalin. So they can sit still. This happened to many families. I think parents are starting to question teachers or health professionals when ADHD is suspected, which is good. Don't get me wrong, if medication will help a child enjoy a better quality of life, and they truly need it to slow down and move forward, I agree with it completely. What I don't agree with are the flexible definitions of childhood disorders, the need to stifle a child's natural energy, and unconsciously putting pressure on parents to have their child be the quiet and proper one.
I am happy my boys are so energetic. Yes, there have been times when exuberance has led to something getting broken or someone getting hurt, but it's not been serious. We have implemented a rule that there is only "calm" play on the main floor of our house. Who knew picture frames could jump off the walls so easily? But in the basement playroom, it's a free for all. Run, jump, dance, yell (quietly though), slide on your socks, just get it out. Be safe of course, but let go. And to be honest, I wish I still had that kind of energy and enjoyment of the simple things.
I am mainly talking about my five-year old here, as I hope a one year old is too young to diagnose for ADHD. He definitely has all the above symptoms, but what gets me is the "at times." Doesn't every child have a hard time concentrating now and then? There are certain times of the day that he has a bit more difficulty, mainly between 3pm and dinnertime. This is when most people hit their slump though, so that is not surprising. For most of the rest of the day he has no problem sitting down to focus on a task or holding a conversation (he's actually quite good at talking a lot).
And some perspective here.....he's five! He is in his second year of kindergarten, which here means every other day at school, so he hasn't had the opportunity (or a reason) to learn to sit still for long periods of time. Sometimes he has trouble maintaining eye contact during conversations, but only the disciplinary conversations, which he naturally wants to avoid. And he is active. I believe I mentioned that. Hyperactive? No. As soon as he learned to walk I donated his stroller to encourage him to like moving around on his own. Exercise is beneficial and I would like to instill that in my children at the earliest age. But exercise also causes people to have more energy, which is the case with most children I believe.
I have had people tell me (with the best intentions) that he might have a form of ADHD. I pretend I am listening and nod and smile, but really? I know my child. His mood and behaviour is affected by what he eats, how he has slept, and how people interact with him. None of the teachers who have taught or spoken to my son have mentioned anything, so I don't worry about it.
I believe ADHD is over-diagnosed. I am not saying that I believe it's not real; I have first-hand experience as a support worker that tells me it is. I just don't think my boys have it. In Canada over the past decade or so, I read many articles in parenting magazines about the rise in ADHD among children. Most parents didn't worry about ADHD until a teacher told them their child had it. Teachers are not health care professionals, and I don't believe they are qualified to recommend medical treatment for a child, but teachers have recommended the child be checked and put on Ritalin. So they can sit still. This happened to many families. I think parents are starting to question teachers or health professionals when ADHD is suspected, which is good. Don't get me wrong, if medication will help a child enjoy a better quality of life, and they truly need it to slow down and move forward, I agree with it completely. What I don't agree with are the flexible definitions of childhood disorders, the need to stifle a child's natural energy, and unconsciously putting pressure on parents to have their child be the quiet and proper one.
I am happy my boys are so energetic. Yes, there have been times when exuberance has led to something getting broken or someone getting hurt, but it's not been serious. We have implemented a rule that there is only "calm" play on the main floor of our house. Who knew picture frames could jump off the walls so easily? But in the basement playroom, it's a free for all. Run, jump, dance, yell (quietly though), slide on your socks, just get it out. Be safe of course, but let go. And to be honest, I wish I still had that kind of energy and enjoyment of the simple things.
Thursday 22 November 2012
Naptime and bedtime struggles
I have never been a fan of the cry it out method; I much prefer the attachment parenting style of soothing a baby until he learns to soothe himself. That being said, my children are determined to prove to me that there is no easy way to teach self-soothing. Let's begin by looking at my first experience.
When my five-year old was a baby, I responded every time he cried. Some experts say this builds trust and confidence in a parent, and the child will have healthier relationships for a lifetime because of it. I would like to think this is true, however I have no way of proving it. Bedtime for first baby was stressful though. Baby number one did not like sleeping. At all. He didn't nap beyond 6 months unless he was sick. He didn't like closing his eyes because there was too much to miss. Indeed, if I was that successful at staying awake, any overnight shifts would have been much easier.
So I tried the routine thing, bath, book, songs. He enjoyed the routine but then screamed when it was time to sleep. I was required to stay in his room until he drifted off, which was fine at first, but once he got used to that it took about an hour each night. It got to the point that I tried the cry it out method, but he beat me in that process too. After two hours I couldn't take it anymore, and I'm not sure who cried more anyway, myself or him. In the end, it was extending his bedtime that did the trick. I still stayed in his room until he was sleeping, but only for ten minutes or so. By the time he was two, he understood enough that I could leave his room and he was to go to sleep. Oh wht a luxury that was, when I only had one child and could spend that much time at bedtime.
And then there were two. My second is just as resistant to sleep as the first. Again, life is too wonderful and exciting to close his eyes and miss any of it. I found myself repeating the same process; loathe to let him cry it out I would stay in his room until he was asleep. And repeat. Once he knew this was the bedtime ritual he could extend it by staying awake. It turned into almost two hours every night just "helping him to sleep." I felt horrible because bedtime was such a negative experience for him, not to mention my five-year old was missing out on his mommy time at bedtime now.
I tried the cry it out process again, and this time I took it farther than one night. But after a week of crying it out there was no improvement. Baby number two is just as stubborn as baby number one, and although he did eventually cry himself to sleep, it was still taking over 45 minutes every night. Maybe I am too soft, but I didn't want this to be bedtime every night either. I came up with a compromise. Settle him into bed, say good night, and leave. After five minutes of crying I would return, calm him again, and leave again. Another five minutes and the same thing. This enabled me to devote ten minutes a night to sleep training, so he could see he wasn't abandoned, but ultimately teach him that I will not keep returning so he needs to sleep. After two weeks of this he went to sleep at night without a complaint.
Now for nap time. I realized that sleep (specifically that of my children), is going to be my challenge for this lifetime. Although bedtime for baby number two is now relatively straightforward and quiet, nap time is quite the circus around here. Baby boy will be so tired that he can't sit up without falling over, he keeps yawning, he is cranky and miserable, and still he finds the energy to fight against his nap for up to an hour. I follow the exact same procedure as bedtime, but for some reason it is not working. At this moment, he has been singing away up in his crib (sometimes interspersed with crying or throwing his stuffed animals), for 52 minutes, and has just gone off to sleep. I have to wonder if it's worth it, because he will be awake in twenty minutes and not nap again today.
Oh the trials and tribulations of motherhood. I know that babies need sleep, like I know that I set the rules and it's up to me if he naps or not, but at what point do I say that enough is enough because I don't want to spend hours a day trying to get him to sleep when there's little improvement? These are the questions I ask myself every day. I still don't have an answer, but I will inform you when I do. Or else he will grow out of naps entirely and this will cease to be an issue.
The moral of this long and exhausting story is, no matter what parenting principles you subscribe to at first, be prepared for change because not everything will go as planned. All that well-meaning advice you get from other parents may or may not apply to your situation, so stick it out in the way that works best for you. Sleep is my personal motherhood challenge at the moment, but good luck in whatever your challenge may be!
When my five-year old was a baby, I responded every time he cried. Some experts say this builds trust and confidence in a parent, and the child will have healthier relationships for a lifetime because of it. I would like to think this is true, however I have no way of proving it. Bedtime for first baby was stressful though. Baby number one did not like sleeping. At all. He didn't nap beyond 6 months unless he was sick. He didn't like closing his eyes because there was too much to miss. Indeed, if I was that successful at staying awake, any overnight shifts would have been much easier.
So I tried the routine thing, bath, book, songs. He enjoyed the routine but then screamed when it was time to sleep. I was required to stay in his room until he drifted off, which was fine at first, but once he got used to that it took about an hour each night. It got to the point that I tried the cry it out method, but he beat me in that process too. After two hours I couldn't take it anymore, and I'm not sure who cried more anyway, myself or him. In the end, it was extending his bedtime that did the trick. I still stayed in his room until he was sleeping, but only for ten minutes or so. By the time he was two, he understood enough that I could leave his room and he was to go to sleep. Oh wht a luxury that was, when I only had one child and could spend that much time at bedtime.
And then there were two. My second is just as resistant to sleep as the first. Again, life is too wonderful and exciting to close his eyes and miss any of it. I found myself repeating the same process; loathe to let him cry it out I would stay in his room until he was asleep. And repeat. Once he knew this was the bedtime ritual he could extend it by staying awake. It turned into almost two hours every night just "helping him to sleep." I felt horrible because bedtime was such a negative experience for him, not to mention my five-year old was missing out on his mommy time at bedtime now.
I tried the cry it out process again, and this time I took it farther than one night. But after a week of crying it out there was no improvement. Baby number two is just as stubborn as baby number one, and although he did eventually cry himself to sleep, it was still taking over 45 minutes every night. Maybe I am too soft, but I didn't want this to be bedtime every night either. I came up with a compromise. Settle him into bed, say good night, and leave. After five minutes of crying I would return, calm him again, and leave again. Another five minutes and the same thing. This enabled me to devote ten minutes a night to sleep training, so he could see he wasn't abandoned, but ultimately teach him that I will not keep returning so he needs to sleep. After two weeks of this he went to sleep at night without a complaint.
Now for nap time. I realized that sleep (specifically that of my children), is going to be my challenge for this lifetime. Although bedtime for baby number two is now relatively straightforward and quiet, nap time is quite the circus around here. Baby boy will be so tired that he can't sit up without falling over, he keeps yawning, he is cranky and miserable, and still he finds the energy to fight against his nap for up to an hour. I follow the exact same procedure as bedtime, but for some reason it is not working. At this moment, he has been singing away up in his crib (sometimes interspersed with crying or throwing his stuffed animals), for 52 minutes, and has just gone off to sleep. I have to wonder if it's worth it, because he will be awake in twenty minutes and not nap again today.
Oh the trials and tribulations of motherhood. I know that babies need sleep, like I know that I set the rules and it's up to me if he naps or not, but at what point do I say that enough is enough because I don't want to spend hours a day trying to get him to sleep when there's little improvement? These are the questions I ask myself every day. I still don't have an answer, but I will inform you when I do. Or else he will grow out of naps entirely and this will cease to be an issue.
The moral of this long and exhausting story is, no matter what parenting principles you subscribe to at first, be prepared for change because not everything will go as planned. All that well-meaning advice you get from other parents may or may not apply to your situation, so stick it out in the way that works best for you. Sleep is my personal motherhood challenge at the moment, but good luck in whatever your challenge may be!
Wednesday 21 November 2012
Where have all the teachers gone?
I understand that teachers in Canada are upset by recent legislation that takes away their right to strike. I understand that teachers are upset that they can no longer bank their unused sick time until retirement, and walk away with a large amount of money. What I don't understand are the teachers who refuse to perform extra-curricualr activities for the kids, or the ones who won't talk to parents about school work, or even the shortened report cards that are coming home at many schools this year.
Is it okay to be so dissatisfied with your salary and contract that you make children suffer? I don't think so. I know that some schools are more in support of this policy than others. There are several schools that haven't had many changes at all in the way things work, but I'm talking about the schools which have adopted these policies. Children who once saw school as a place of learning and extra-curricular activities now don't have that option. Parents who can't afford to pay for sports lessons outside of school must now see their child sit at home and miss out on school basketball or soccer because the teachers want more money and fewer hours worked.
The lack of communication gets to me too, but again I state only in some schools. Shortened report cards are not a reasonable form of protest. Parents must be aware of their child's development, progress or lack thereof, and conduct in school. Refusing to speak to parents over the phone outside of school hours (yes, this sometimes includes recess as it is considered extra-curricular time, or break time), is not only hurting the children, but leaving parents to wonder what is going on at school.
I for one am frightened of the way the education system seems to be headed. There seem to be many teachers who are in their positions only for the money or benefits (every weekend, summer, and holiday off? Yes, please). Where did all the educators go who are concerned with actually educating children? It seems a popular reason to go into the teaching field, but at what point does it become obsolete? The fact that teachers are upset about not being able to strike is proof enough. How beneficial is a strike for all those students who are at school for an education?
It seems to me that the teachers who are upset about this are the ones who are in teaching for the wrong reasons. There are several other areas of employment where the pay is higher and the benefits are better. If you ask me though, the rate of pay for the time worked is pretty good, and the benefits couldn't be better. New policy proposes something like 10 sick days per year, but keeping in mind that there are approximately 190 working days in a year (out of 365), and it seems extremely generous. And if teachers remain teachers and the pay is not enough, why not get a summer job? That's all I have to say.
Is it okay to be so dissatisfied with your salary and contract that you make children suffer? I don't think so. I know that some schools are more in support of this policy than others. There are several schools that haven't had many changes at all in the way things work, but I'm talking about the schools which have adopted these policies. Children who once saw school as a place of learning and extra-curricular activities now don't have that option. Parents who can't afford to pay for sports lessons outside of school must now see their child sit at home and miss out on school basketball or soccer because the teachers want more money and fewer hours worked.
The lack of communication gets to me too, but again I state only in some schools. Shortened report cards are not a reasonable form of protest. Parents must be aware of their child's development, progress or lack thereof, and conduct in school. Refusing to speak to parents over the phone outside of school hours (yes, this sometimes includes recess as it is considered extra-curricular time, or break time), is not only hurting the children, but leaving parents to wonder what is going on at school.
I for one am frightened of the way the education system seems to be headed. There seem to be many teachers who are in their positions only for the money or benefits (every weekend, summer, and holiday off? Yes, please). Where did all the educators go who are concerned with actually educating children? It seems a popular reason to go into the teaching field, but at what point does it become obsolete? The fact that teachers are upset about not being able to strike is proof enough. How beneficial is a strike for all those students who are at school for an education?
It seems to me that the teachers who are upset about this are the ones who are in teaching for the wrong reasons. There are several other areas of employment where the pay is higher and the benefits are better. If you ask me though, the rate of pay for the time worked is pretty good, and the benefits couldn't be better. New policy proposes something like 10 sick days per year, but keeping in mind that there are approximately 190 working days in a year (out of 365), and it seems extremely generous. And if teachers remain teachers and the pay is not enough, why not get a summer job? That's all I have to say.
Tuesday 20 November 2012
Healthy Balance
My five-year old son is pretty into video games. By into, I mean he loves playing Mario Kart, Mario World, Super Mario Galaxy, Wii Sports, Outdoor Adventures,etc. And he adores the card games on my cell phone, specifically Uno. I'm not sure why it's more exciting to play it on my phone than with the real cards (we have those too), but it is. He also love Euchre (although the concept is a little beyond him) and 100 Floors (a puzzle game to open 100 different elevator doors). When my husband is on the computer (he is a bit of a gaming fan too), my son will hover at his shoulder and watch as if in a trance. We have implemented a rule (or I have), that my husband is not allowed to play any games inappropriate for a child until after that child is in bed. I have had visions though, of a future where my son comes home from school only to start up a computer/video game and zone out in front of it until bedtime. A little dramatic, I know, but there are children who do this regularly. So to support his interest, but at the same time limit his technology time so he can explore other areas of life (such as playing outside, playing real card games, using his imagination, reading, etc), I put some rules into place for him. He is allowed to play video games, but only after he has earned them with a requisite amount of school work (what I call focusing activities). Now he is in Senior Kindergarten the homework is provided, but also included are things like printing practice, reading, puzzles, drawing, colouring, what have you. This allows him to choose what activity he prefers at the time and still have fun while doing something educational. And when he is finished (either 30 minutes of focusing, or a specific activity I have set to finish), he is allowed 30 minutes of game time. This can be used twice in one day, so I know his game time is no more than an hour each day, but I also know he is getting a healthy amount critical thinking time as well. There is nothing wrong with video games if they are age-appropriate, and I know they can be beneficial in teaching coordination and problem-solving, but I do not want him to become so enthralled by them that he has no other interests. A healthy balance is key to creating healthy habits and a well-rounded child. There have even been days when he has only used one of his video game times, or none, because he has been too busy with something else to even think about it. I am interested to know how other parents limit video game or electronic time, or if there are parents who believe that there shouldn't be limits on it. Please post and tell me your thoughts.....
Saturday 17 November 2012
Read to your children!
I have recently started selling children's books. I was looking for a way to earn a little extra cash and I wanted something a little out of the ordinary. This left me two options: marital aids (I hope I don't have to clarify) or kids books. I went with the books. My boys love reading. One is 5 and the other is 1. I read to them and with them every day, so it seemed like a no-brainer. My reality came crashing down though when after almost three months of selling books, my sales are at a minimum. Most people don't see the point to buying quality, educational books for their children anymore. Of course, I am generalizing because there are plenty of moms out there who love reading to their kids and do it often, but I have been promoting these books like mad and only have a handful of customers. The benefits of reading to your children are so many that it's hard for me to believe there are people who don't, but I have come into contact with a lot of those types too. So here's a breakdown to convince those who don't read to their kids to change, and those who do read with them that they are doing the right thing. Children who are surrounded by books from a young age are more literate than their peers and will have an easier time learning for the rest of their lives. This is in any context, like school, career training, language courses, etc. Children who learn to read early have higher self-esteem and more friends than those who don't particularly like books. Children who like books will have a more successful career, be more curious and adventurous, have a greater vocabulary, and enjoy all aspects of life more. So read to your children! They will not like books if they are not surrounded by them, and I can't imagine anything worse than a child saying "what's the point of reading?" Okay, maybe one thing is worse: In the UK, 40% of children don't own books. No, I'm not on a selling spree, I don't sell books for the money. I want kids to love learning. And to prove it, I'm not even going to post my business website. Just pick up a book and read with your child. Please.
Friday 16 November 2012
Down with juice!
Here's an idea. Next time your child is thirsty, get a glass of water and add four heaping teaspoons of sugar. Stir and serve with a straw (if desired). Ridiculous, isn't it? So why are you giving your kids juice? It is quite literally the same thing. There are few health benefits. Even the ones made with real fruit have been so processed that they will need several cups to get the benefits of a single serving of real fruit. So serve the piece of fruit. All that sugar in the juice is going to cause cavities and tooth decay too. They will be at a higher risk for diabetes when they are older, as well as more likely to be overweight or obese. And your little one's body is going to be working pretty hard to filter out all the sugar and chemicals that they have just ingested. Serve them water. If your children don't like water, the solution couldn't be simpler: offer it as the only option when they are thirsty. They will drink it, I promise. And it's free! Get a filtered jug if you don't like the taste of tap water, but stop serving your children juice. While you're at it, do yourself and your whole family a favor and stop buying juice period. I can't think of a bigger waste of money (except maybe soda.....).
Thursday 15 November 2012
Using play to teach your baby
Peek-a-boo with blankets, pillows, books, you name it. The more things you can find to play with the more entertained your baby will be. This teaches object permanence and helps baby to understand that everyday objects can be used in several different ways, which develops curiosity and the ability to try new things.
Play with a ball by either rolling it, throwing it (gently please), pretending to sit on it, pretending to lose it, placing it on your head. This is a way to show your baby what's logical verses what's silly, and promotes a good sense of humor.
Conversations about anything. Keep a running monologue throughout your day and show baby the things you are talking about. This will help baby with object identification and expand his or her vocabulary when he or she does start speaking.
Read a book (or several). Point to the pictures, talk about the pictures, let baby turn the pages and point as well, mimic any sounds baby makes while looking at a book, name colors, oh yeah, and read the story! This helps with language development, curiosity, the ability to retain information, the ability to learn later in life, better social habits, more interests for baby, etc. There are too many benefits not to do this on a daily basis!
Play with stuffed animals or toys by lining them up and labeling them by size, shape, color, name, etc. Sort them into containers or group them together on the floor. See if your baby can help with the sorting.
Make a tower of anything but blocks. Blocks are good too, but the real creativity comes with unusual things. See how high you can build a tower of plastic food containers, pots and pans, clean paper beverage cups, etc. Or stack a tower with all of these things. This teaches creativity and problem solving, as well as cause and effect. If it gets too high or is not stacked properly, it falls down.
Look out the window. Label everything you see by size and color. "That is a big, green tree, look at the small grey squirrel, etc." There is no better way to encourage your child to enjoy the everyday than by talking about it with them and showing them that the little things are exciting.
Look at a picture album of people your baby is familiar with. Your baby will love seeing a "book" of his or her family. You can talk about activities they have done with these people, and your baby will learn to associate Grandma with the beach or Uncle Steinbecker with ice cream. This is a fun way to enhance baby's memory.
Good job playing! Now let that baby have a nap!
Children and nutrition
There are so many good and healthy foods out there that children just won't eat. My oldest was as picky as they come until I told him he was no longer allowed to be. I remember when I was a kid, I had to eat everything on my plate or no dessert. I didn't complain, I ate it. It's as simple as that: if you allow your children to be picky they will.
Of course, preferred tastes develop over time. It takes a child trying a new food approximately ten times before they will develop a taste for it. So introduce your children to all those healthy fruits and vegetables and proteins (like fish), and eventually they will happily gobble them up. If you need to sneak in the introductions, go ahead. Add pureed squash or carrots to your spaghetti sauce and they will still grow to like it. Soup is a wonderful way to disguise fruits and veggies. Cook whatever vegetables and fruit you like with water or broth and puree it. Name it Cream of Something, and serve with crackers. Smoothies are another fun idea. This way your child can pick what fruits or veggies he or she likes and down several servings with one beverage.
Sometimes there are foods a child will not eat though, such as meat. If your child chooses to be a vegetarian, make sure he or she gets plenty of the iron and protein from other sources. Dark, leafy green vegetables are a high source, as well as eggs, some fruit, sweet potatoes, nuts, and fortified milk and cereals. Do your research to figure out portion sizes, recommended servings ffor the age group, and suitable alternatives for any food groups they are missing. You will find you have a happier and better behaved child if they are receiving their recommended diet.
While we are at it, here are some other hints regarding food. If your child does get a sugary treat, always balance it with a protein. Spread nut butter on a chocolate chip cookie if you have to. The protein will regulate the sugar so the child's blood sugar does not increase so much, thus saving them from the rapid drop (and energy slump) otherwise, and the behavioral changes that a spike in blood sugar tends to create.
If your child loves cheese and crackers, spend a little time cutting the cheese from a block. You are avoiding all the chemicals and additives that are put into those snack packages. If your child likes chips, invest in a chip maker. Buy the potatoes, slice them with a special tool, and microwave them in the chip maker with your choice of seasoning for a very healthy movie snack. You are still giving them chips, but again, without the chemicals and additives that are put into the processed kind.
Processed food is another one to avoid when you can. Take some time on the weekend to do some food preparation, like slicing veggies and meat, so you have healthy and convenient real food to add to quick dinners. Cut up some fruit too, so you can snack on it throughout the week. Many sauces can be made in advance as well. A slow-cooker is a great tool for busy moms, because if you have done the veggie preparation, you can whip up a healthy soup in the morning in under five minutes, and by dinnertime it will be ready to eat.
Experiment with food to find ways to get the vitamins into your child. I have to drizzle a slight amount of real maple syrup onto carrots to get my boys to eat them, but the sugar is natural and they are getting tons of vitamins from the carrots. Make natural and healthy food a normal part of daily life and your picky eater will be replaced by a child who craves good food.
Of course, preferred tastes develop over time. It takes a child trying a new food approximately ten times before they will develop a taste for it. So introduce your children to all those healthy fruits and vegetables and proteins (like fish), and eventually they will happily gobble them up. If you need to sneak in the introductions, go ahead. Add pureed squash or carrots to your spaghetti sauce and they will still grow to like it. Soup is a wonderful way to disguise fruits and veggies. Cook whatever vegetables and fruit you like with water or broth and puree it. Name it Cream of Something, and serve with crackers. Smoothies are another fun idea. This way your child can pick what fruits or veggies he or she likes and down several servings with one beverage.
Sometimes there are foods a child will not eat though, such as meat. If your child chooses to be a vegetarian, make sure he or she gets plenty of the iron and protein from other sources. Dark, leafy green vegetables are a high source, as well as eggs, some fruit, sweet potatoes, nuts, and fortified milk and cereals. Do your research to figure out portion sizes, recommended servings ffor the age group, and suitable alternatives for any food groups they are missing. You will find you have a happier and better behaved child if they are receiving their recommended diet.
While we are at it, here are some other hints regarding food. If your child does get a sugary treat, always balance it with a protein. Spread nut butter on a chocolate chip cookie if you have to. The protein will regulate the sugar so the child's blood sugar does not increase so much, thus saving them from the rapid drop (and energy slump) otherwise, and the behavioral changes that a spike in blood sugar tends to create.
If your child loves cheese and crackers, spend a little time cutting the cheese from a block. You are avoiding all the chemicals and additives that are put into those snack packages. If your child likes chips, invest in a chip maker. Buy the potatoes, slice them with a special tool, and microwave them in the chip maker with your choice of seasoning for a very healthy movie snack. You are still giving them chips, but again, without the chemicals and additives that are put into the processed kind.
Processed food is another one to avoid when you can. Take some time on the weekend to do some food preparation, like slicing veggies and meat, so you have healthy and convenient real food to add to quick dinners. Cut up some fruit too, so you can snack on it throughout the week. Many sauces can be made in advance as well. A slow-cooker is a great tool for busy moms, because if you have done the veggie preparation, you can whip up a healthy soup in the morning in under five minutes, and by dinnertime it will be ready to eat.
Experiment with food to find ways to get the vitamins into your child. I have to drizzle a slight amount of real maple syrup onto carrots to get my boys to eat them, but the sugar is natural and they are getting tons of vitamins from the carrots. Make natural and healthy food a normal part of daily life and your picky eater will be replaced by a child who craves good food.
Hi everyone, welcome to my blog! It's got mom in the title but trust me, dads can use this stuff too! On this page I am committed to everything parenting and household. You will get tips to make your life so much easier and more enjoyable. I have an extensive background in childhood development and behavioral issues, so feel free to contact me with any questions you have. I will try my best to help. Same goes for any comments you have about my blog. I will reply to every question. Jump in and let's have some fun!
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