It has begun

When J was a toddler, I let him watch TV sometimes. I didn't really monitor the time or anything, but I know it wasn't much. Treehouse would be on for part of a show and then we'd go out to play or socialize or whatever. Maybe it's the fact that now that he's older, J's pretty obsessed with video games at times, but I tend to limit E's TV time a lot more.

E never watched a show of his own until he was 17 months. The TV during the day is only on for J's programs or games, and sometimes music (the Glee jukebox is awesome for dance parties!). When he was almost a year and a half, I thought it would be okay to put something on for him. He liked Thomas and had some exposure, although J has periods of Thomas-crazy interspersed with Thomas-who? so E's exposure wasn't much.

I put on Max and Ruby for E, because it was one of the only things available on Netflix. It was love at first sight. Within a day he knew how to say Max, and although he wasn't requesting it at first, he always stopped to watch it. It wasn't on much, maybe twice a week for twenty minutes each time. It became a favourite of E's and then of course, Netflix took it off their programming.

I tried some other shows, but not even Thomas holds E's attention as much as that mischievous little bunny. We decided to see if it was available on DVD, because J has so many movies and shows that E deserves his own favourite.

That was an oops too. We have had the DVD's for four days now, and E wants them morning, noon and night. He says "Max," repeatedly and searches for the shows. He even knows how to get the DVDs safely from their closed case to the Xbox, and turn them on through the menu. His memory for repeating what he sees will serve him well one day, but for now it makes it really hard to prevent him from getting what he wants.

He is an independent little guy. He watches me do something and wants to do it himself. Now that he's almost two, I think he's practising for "The Terribles." He will ask me for Max and most times I say no (I still like to limit the time they are in front of that magical box with moving pictures). Then he will get the DVD case and show me, just in case I missed the point the first time.When I prove to be thicker than the average mom, he just does it himself.

Now I'm glad he's so smart. He amazes me at what he can do by himself, simply from watching me go through the motions. However, I think that I need to stress the point a little more that no means no, and he has to wait for his TV time. That means a lot more tantrums, but I'm okay with that. Still, I hope that doesn't mean in ten years my boys will be fighting over the TV. I do know though, that neither one of them will ever have a TV in their room and there will always be a limit on how much they watch. Still, maybe I should have thought it through a bit more, because I never realized Max and Ruby were so captivating.

The butt challenge

Technically, it's called the 30-day squat challenge. Has anyone seen the pictures of the supposed butts on the challenge pages? Don't get me wrong, they are very shapely and attractive behinds, but I doubt that mine will ever look like that, even if I do 1000 squats daily for the rest of my life.

So I'm doing an experiment. I have committed to the 30-day squat challenge. There are several reasons that it's perfect for me right now. First is that with shingles, I can't go to the gym because I am not allowed to sweat. I have told that to my pores several times, but they have the listening of a 2-year old so I am refraining from the gym. Second, I love the fact that whatever the results, I can be finished in 30 days. That's pretty cool too, and not at all intimidating. The third reason this is perfect is because I love disproving anything. Just ask my husband. Maybe I should say I love testing theories because it makes me sound more open-minded. So I am testing this theory. I have had a before-butt picture taken and will have an after-butt picture taken, and then compare to see if there are visible results. Since this is a blog rated for G audiences, I will assure you that the pictures will be fully clothed and completely appropriate, although the before-butt is not appealing. I haven't even decided if I'm posting the pics on here, but if the result is amazing then I will.

So here's what else I'm doing, because no matter how challenging the number gets (it goes to 250 for Day 30), I'll still be done in less than three minutes. That doesn't seem like much, so I am adding yoga. The number of squats increases daily, so I'm increasing the seconds I hold the yoga poses too. I have three poses to work my stomach: The Plank, The Boat and The Bird-Dog. I have also had a before-belly picture taken, to see the improvement of this too. Now it takes me six whole minutes to complete my daily exercises and I can sleep at night knowing I'm committed!

All joking aside though, this is an experiment and it's an easy way to stay relatively active when I am not allowed to sweat or do anything strenuous. I am even starting the 30-day pushup challenge with my husband on Monday, because my arms (like my tush) leave something to be desired. The pushup challenge is a bit easier I think, because it starts at five pushups the first day. I'm relatively sure I can do that, but I don't know what number it ends at so I may be in for a surprise! And of course I will do before and after arms pictures of that.

My hope is that at the end of 30 days I will have photographic evidence of the effectiveness of three different toning exercises. Barring that, I want to have these shingles gone so I can get back on the treadmill.

My little reader

I have to share a milestone. It actually happened over this year and last year, but the other day I realized how amazing it was. For anyone who needs  reminder, J is six. He goes to school every other day and is full of energy and excitement. He is not the typical reader, given his age, gender and tendency to wild abandon. But he's made quite the regular habit of coming home from school and opening a book to unwind from a busy day. He even gets so excited about his library books that he forgets about his video game time, which I also allow as a way to unwind.

I first noticed this when he "let em sleep in." E must have been in on it too, because it's the only time that toddler has slept until 7:18! J is allowed to leave his room at 7 to start the day, but instead of waking me up, he went downstairs on his own. I slept in until 7:18, and brought E down to find J on the couch with a Scooby Doo chapter book, reading away. He told me he wanted me to get some extra sleep, so he was just reading on the couch.

Since he's such an avid reader, I have given him the privilege of reading before bed. We've extended his bedtime from 7:30-8:00, but the deal is, he still goes upstairs at 7:30. Then he has half an hour to read before lights out. I still read with him on most nights before that, but it's getting less because he prefers reading on his own now. Instead, in his half an hour of E-free time and before reading in bed time, we can play a game or do something else together.

I know I'll miss reading to him (I already do), but I'm so happy and proud that he's reading on his own. He recently got a book order from school with more chapter books. He looked inside and realized they don't have pictures. He wasn't upset though, because they were big-boy books. He's already read the first three chapters. I think I need to buy him a bookmark. And maybe it's not so bad that I don't read to him anymore. He wants to read to me now, and then he wants to talk about his books to me. He also fights with me about who will read to E, which is actually kind of cute.

I realized that although J couldn't be more of a "typical boy" in a lot of ways, with his energy and excitement, he is atypical in some ways too. And I'm proud of that, because it means he's well-rounded and has many interests. It also means that whenever he says, "I'm bored," I can tell him to go read something. Which is easier in so many ways.

Ouch!

Everyone knows that kids get hurt. Some children are clumsier than others and sport more bruises. My boys collect dings and scrapes like they're going out of style. Or maybe like they are the hottest and most lasting style around. Either way, my kids fall down and bump into inanimate objects quite often.

This post isn't about kids being hurt though. It's about when parents are in pain. I went to the doctors over a week ago for an itchy rash on my shoulder. It was misdiagnosed as hives and I was put on a medication that didn't relieve anything. When the medication was finished and there was a significant amount of pain going along with the itching, I went back to the clinic. Turns out I have shingles.

For those who don't know, that's adult chicken pox. Anyone whose ever had the chicken pox is susceptible if their immunity is down, but shingles is far worse than the childhood condition. For one thing, it's painful. I only have a mild case so far (it can be mild, moderate or severe) but it still hurts. Constantly.

Now this is not a complaint post and I'm sorry if it seems like one. I wanted to comment on the effect of a parent being in pain or recovering from something. Bring in pain all the time is making me a bit cranky. I'm on different medication for the pain, but I need to increase it slowly until it becomes effective. Meaning it's not helping right now. Ice packs help for a little while sometimes but the only other thing that helps is sleep, because then I can't feel it. I have to thank my husband, because this weekend he let me take a long nap every day.

There is also the minor inconvenience that I'm afflicted on the side that I carry E. Shingles only shows up on one side of the body and I'm just that lucky. He has dug his little nails into my sore spots numerous times, which is a cause for screaming. I also can't hug J very easily, because nothing can touch my back or shoulder. It's loads of fun around here at the moment.

That is all I'm going to say about my own condition though. I know there are people in far worse situations than mine, and although this sucks, it could be so much worse. I never thought about getting sick much, because as the primary caregiver, who has time for that? But it made me think about other parents who are going through similar things, and how it affects the whole family and even the things we can do with our kids.

What this has taught me is that I need to take better care of myself. I didn't catch shingles from anyone, but if my immunity was better I may not have come down with it. I owe it to my family to be well, at least as much as I can control, because I like being the primary caregiver. I'd started a regular exercise program and was eating healthier because I wanted more energy, but I forgot to look at the long-term reasons for doing so. I don't want to take my health for granted, so when I'm better I am going to revise my health goals and focus on the big picture. Which also means I have to buckle down and quit smoking, which I've been struggling with forever. I have the Zyban, which is a good thing because it's a stop-smoking aid as well as an anti-depressant, and it sometimes helps with shingles pain. I will try to take advantage of this perfect timing, and let everyone know how it goes.

Please respond (it's eduactional!)

For educational purposes, J would like to conduct a survey. He learned to do it at school and is now wanting to do an online survey. He loves to learn and I love that he's applying this at home, so please help us out by answering this post. What is your favourite type of ice cream
A) Banana Boat
B) Moose Tracks
C) Vanilla Bean
D) Butterscotch
He will be graphing the results. Thank you.

Is the week over yet?

I really don't know what's gotten into the local population this week. Everyone is distrustful and suspicious and downright rude. I was at the park with E and there were some other kids playing there. One little girl asked me how to use the speaker/walkie-talkie contraption they have set up. I told her because I was standing right there and it's not my usual practice to ignore children. I didn't get any closer to her or touch her or even lean down to talk to her, but her mother ran up and grabbed her away. Then, when I could clearly still hear her, she told her little girl not to talk to strangers because they could be dangerous and to just stay away from me. Apparently she still felt threatened, because when her little girl came to play with E the mother just packed up and left. Along with everyone else there. One person stayed with his grandson, but he was also not interested in being social.

Now I may not look like everyone wants me to (I don't even know what the cultural definition of beauty or normal is) but I know I don't look threatening. I don't dress improperly, I'm not pushy with strangers or kids, I'm not covered in tattoos or piercings (which I don't have a problem with, but some people do) and I wasn't carrying a weapon of any sort. I was also there playing with my toddler. I looked in the mirror when we got home and I couldn't find anything offensive about my appearance.

It's been going on all week though. There are always people who have no interest in talking to anyone else and I accept that. But not too long ago I could go to the park and talk to other parents while my kids played with their kids.It seemed like that's what the park was for, at least in part. Parents looking to talk with other people and let their children meet other children. This week alone I've been ignored, avoided and insulted within my hearing, all at the park.

There's more too though. We ride the bus regularly and on most trips there is at least one person who feels chatty. It was even normal to start a conversation with one person, only to have more people join in and other people moving to the front of the bus so they could be part too. It's a little uncommon for most places, but in Peterborough it was completely normal. This past week though, the buses have been silent.

I had a good weekend, but there was a lot going on and it was very difficult to stay positive. Monday was a pretty tough day for J, I think because of the weekend. Everything went wrong on Monday, including missing the bus, being charged late fees for library books, not being able to go to the gym because of J's behaviour, burning dinner, not having time to clean up and having a baby that was screaming for 8 1/2 hrs straight because of tummy problems. And then I had to rush him to the clinic to get that sorted and got home late and didn't get anything done that I wanted to get done. Granted, nothing that happened was disastrous but it felt that way because I'd been trying so hard all weekend to stay in a good mood. Monday just felt miserable.

And maybe that carried over. I believe that one's countenance affects the people around them, much more than one might think. So I blame no one but myself for Monday being so bad. I even knew on Monday that was the reason, so on Tuesday I had my good attitude back and thought the week would improve. Well, it hasn't. Friends have been ignoring my calls, J has suddenly lost all of his capacity to be nice to other people, cashiers and sales people are being rude to all of us and I feel extremely bad about myself. It feels like I'm doing something wrong but I can't for the life of me figure it out. I'm still doing a kindness every day (if people don't like it they can wait til 2014 and then get over it), but it's hard to want to keep it up when people think I'm trying to steal their stuff or hurt them. And those are the responses I've been getting lately to helping someone onto the bus or holding a door open.On top of all that, I came down with hives from some sort of allergic reaction (possibly stress, but I've never had it before). Icing on the cake.

So my goal for the rest of the week is to enjoy my family. I can't count on anyone outside of it to make me feel better and I know when to cut my losses and move on. Not that I expect anyone to make me feel better, but I've reached out and tried and it's only made me feel worse. So I will play with my kids and feed them well and if anyone wants to find me, they know where I am. I will keep working out because it makes me feel good and I will keep performing my kindnesses and I will hope that soon people are back to normal. And I will really hope that if I'm doing something wrong, someone will give me a clue so I can fix it.

Finally figured it out!

I feel proud of myself and a little stupid at the same time. I've been on and on about how to get good food into the boys and limit the processed junk. I can't remember all the things I've tried but I know there's been a lot. I finally found the solution though, and it's so simple and obvious I can't believe I didn't think of this years ago. Here's the new rule in our house:

Lunch and dinner include a serving of vegetables. Breakfast includes a serving of fruit. All snacks between meals are either a fruit, veggie or yogourt. Now, before everyone thinks I'm not letting my kids have any fun at all, lunch and dinner include a dessert of whatever they choose. Yes, even processed. My hope is that after a balanced meal, the chemicals and additives won't have as much of an effect.

I implemented this rule last week and J hasn't complained or argued once.  He's even eating every vegetable I put in front of him (although he's still picky about meat). There are lots of benefits to this plan and I would recommend it to any parent. It's easy, because the kids can always grab their own fruit and they never have to ask what they can have. It also ensures that they get the daily recommended 700 servings of fruit and veggies (no that's not a typo, does anyone else think the recommended serving amounts for children is ridiculous?) and they will learn to like healthy food.

As a final note I will pass on a very easy to make homemade yogourt drink. Take a large tub of fruit yogourt (Astro Original is the best) and use an immersion blender to puree it. Pour some into a cup (J likes wine glasses because it feels fancy) and add milk. Stir it up and you have a chemical and preservative-free yogourt drink. Alternately, you can just do this with vanlla yogourt and not worry about the blending.

No time to breathe (or sleep)

It's been a hectic week. Who am I kidding? It's been a hectic life, or so it seems. I love being busy so I'm not complaining. I can't complain either, because it's all my fault. Between play dates and social events for the kids, swimming lessons, sports classes, taking them to parks and on walks and everywhere else because the weather's so nice and playing games and reading to them, I don't have much time for the rest of the day. And that's only the kid stuff.

There's also my commitment to go to the gym at least three times a week, doing yoga and exercise at home too, baking healthy snacks for the boys instead of giving them processed stuff, making a homemade dinner almost every night, daily cleaning, spring cleaning cleaning and trying to eradicate the day lilies in our back yard. Oh, and my writing. I've got an article I want to finish in the next day or two and I'm submitting at least two new short stories each month for possible publication, as well as a minimum of five articles or proposals to several different magazines.

And don't forget weekends. Weekends are supposed to be the time for getting all the household errands done and having some quality family time in between that. Am I forgetting anything? I think so but my brain is so tired that my readers will have to forgive me for that.

I definitely know why people take vacations, and I for one am looking forward to the long weekend. We got free tickets to a Nascar event in a town that's close to Peterborough, and I'm trying to convince my husband we should go. Of course the tickets weren't really free, considering we got them for spending so much money, but hey, we were spending it anyway.

Of course taking two young boys for a long weekend to a race car event will not be a slow weekend, but at least it will get me away from all the never ending work here for a while. And it will be as clean when we come back as when we leave, because no one's home to make a mess! Relevant side note: that's exactly why I take the kids out so  much in the nice weather, because the house stays cleaner.

Back to the busy. Today I spent two hours digging up half of the day lilies in our yard. For those who don't know, they are an incredibly hardy species, and it takes a lot of digging. If I leave even one tiny piece of root in the ground, they'll be back in full force next month. I only had time to do half because E woke from his nap, but I'm hoping to finish it this week at some point. Then we have to cover it to choke them out so they don't grow again, because the digging is more than enough for me. I don't intend to search out every little fiber that's grown for years to find them  all, so covering them with garden canvas is our best bet. After that, we will cover them with some planters or something, to grow something that can be contained. I knew I didn't like gardening for a reason. Give me a yard full of grass and I'm happy to admire someone else' flowers.

This post is everywhere all at once, and I apologize for that. I have to fill you in though, because it's been a while and there really is a point to all these musings. The point is this: I am a busy person. I think I am a person who has to be busy, because I really don't know how to sit still and take a moment to breathe. I'm serious. I am incapable of sitting down without something to do. I manage about five seconds before I'm roaming the house looking for something to clean or bake or decorate or file.

That said, I think I've overdone it this spring. I haven't had time to file my paperwork (it hangs in my kitchen, haunting me) or clean out behind the oven (which I usually do every three months or so). That's okay though, because the house is clean (relatively) and the kids are happy. I've been told being busy keeps people looking young, but I'll let you all know if that's true when I'm old. We'll see.