Mornings

There are people you see everywhere without kids, but you just know they have to be moms. It's the way they reach to help you when a toddler runs off, or the sympathetic look while your kid is having a public meltdown. Then there are the people who have obviously never had or been around a child in their lives. These are the ones who wonder why you're feeding your child a yogourt tube on the bus or singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider where everyone can hear you. They're also the ones who judge you for always being late and running for the city bus, only to catch it in your driveway because the bus driver is awesome.

To those people I say, you have no idea! Really. Moms (and dads), imagine something normal you used to do that took five seconds or less, like putting on your coat. Now add ten minutes for every child you have, plus another four for yourself, and that's how long it takes now. So for me, putting on my coat takes 24 minutes (and five seconds), because I have two children.

Let's elaborate on the coat thing. Mornings are fun around here, especially on school days. There are 90 minutes from the time J gets up to the time he needs to be at the bus stop. Anyone without children would think that's plenty of time to have breakfast, brush teeth, put a lunch in his bag and get a coat and shoes on. But it's 45 minutes of repeating, "Sit down and finish your food," before he actually does. It's about 20 minutes of find the lunch bag, because of course there are distractions. The lunch bag has been found in places like the snack cupboard, the bathroom, under the table, and outside, to name a few. The coat and the shoes is where the raised voices come in. Not because I'm angry, but because it's the only way to keep his attention at this point. Every school day is the same, with us rushign out teh door just minutes before the bus comes.

I'm not saying that J doesn't listen well in general. He's pretty good for his age, until we're on a deadline. Then I think his ears fall off or something, because nothing gets through. And remember, I have a toddler running around stuffing food in his own ears and putting everyone's shoes on but his own. So I conclude that an hour and a half is not nearly enough time to get one kid ready for school. Maybe E's been stuffing food in J's ears when I'm not looking; that would explain a lot.

Some end notes: Non-parents, please do not judge any parent for being almost-late for everything. Parents, if your kids can be ready for school in under an hour, I applaud you. And city bus drivers, thank you for stopping like you did today because you thought we were late again. We were running for the school bus today, but it's nice to know you care.