As I've noted before, I don't like gratuitous punctuation and showy sentences, but I had to add that exclamation mark and I will tell you why. I was going to the gym yesterday because I've decided it's finally time to get back into shape. I go at the time there's a free drop-in gym for J so he can get some exercise too, and I put E in daycare for 40 minutes (it's not bad, but I still feel guilty). The bus schedule means that we get there 2o minutes before J's class, so to save time (and daycare minutes) I decided to take the boys in the change room with me and get ready for my workout before I dropped them off.
Now it's posted that the facility prefers children go into the family change room, and I always thought that meant for kids who were changing. I tried to take them in there, but it's a coed change room and all the private rooms were full, so I took them into the women's room with me. They weren't changing anyway and people take kids in there all the time. Besides, they are young and don't really care about naked people.
Well, I went in and immediately a ninety-year old lady started yelling at me. She told me it's a woman's change room and there were NO BOYS ALLOWED FOR GOD"S SAKE! That's a direct quote, as is this: "Some women prance around here totally naked and boys shouldn't see that! They need to leave."
Now there were many things I could have said to her that weren't nice, but I am trying very hard to be nice this year so all I told her was J's six and he isn't in there to look at anything. I also told her the other change room was full and I would be ten seconds (I had to change my pants, that's it that's all). She still had a problem so I finally told J to wait for me right outside the door while I changed on the other side of the door, giving everyone a bit of a show whenever it opened. I was going to stay close to him, so I do apologize to any readers who may have saw me pantsless. It's a small price to pay for not being the cause of a grouchy old lady's heart attack.
The icing on the cake was as soon as I left the change room, another woman went in with her five-year old son and the old lady didn't say a word. That may be due to the fact that every other woman in there went up to her and told her she was being "stupid/ridiculous/mean/unfair/etc." Again, direct quotes because I didnt't use any of those words. It was clear that she was the only one bothered by it.
J was very upset about the whole matter, and the only reason I left him outside was because I was unsure of the gym's rules for kids in the change room. I asked right after the episode what the rules are, and they said to take him with me. He is only six and they'd much rather deal with cranky people than have a child left unattended. It took a lot of explaining to him that sometimes people are just like that and nothing was his fault. At the end of the day though, he knew that just because some people are mean and ornery doesn't mean we change who we are. He told me the next time he sees that lady he's going to tell her to have a nice day, because it's better than what she was having and maybe it would help.
Although it's an important lesson (perhaps not only for children), I still feel horrible about having to leave him outside the door. A very nice lady stayed with him and I was less than a foot away at the other side of the door, but I wonder if I should have done something different. I don't want to back away from anything, especially when it comes to my children, but I was embarrassed that she was making such a scene and just thought it was easier. Besides, I definitely would have run out there without pants in a second if he was in trouble!
I'm not sure what the point of this post is really. Maybe it's to admit that I could have handled the situation better. Maybe I made a split-second decision that wasn't the best. Maybe I am just writing because it made me so angry I want to share it. Maybe there's really no pint of relating this at all, but it does have to do with parenting and now that I know the rules of the facility, it will definitely not happen again. I will stand up to anyone who wants J to stay out, and they can deal with the consequences, not me. I do know that I have to let it go too, like I told J.
End note: E stayed in the change room with me while J was leaning against the door trying to get through by osmosis.
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