ADHD?

Okay, for all those not keeping up with everything I write, first of all shame on you! Second, I have two boys, 1 yr. and 5 yrs. They are both very active, curious, engaged, smart, active, loud, active, well you get the point. In short, they are typical boys. At least I thought they were. Now the latest medical research (you know, the research that likes to label everything) is telling me that they have all the symptoms of ADHD. Difficulty focusing at times: check. Difficulty staying still at times: check. Fidgety at times: check. Cannot maintain focus at times: check. Cannot follow a conversation at times: check. Yes, I suppose they have it. But with that criteria, everyone I've ever met has it too.

I am mainly talking about my five-year old here, as I hope a one year old is too young to diagnose for ADHD. He definitely has all the above symptoms, but what gets me is the "at times." Doesn't every child have a hard time concentrating now and then? There are certain times of the day that he has a bit more difficulty, mainly between 3pm and dinnertime. This is when most people hit their slump though, so that is not surprising. For most of the rest of the day he has no problem sitting down to focus on a task or holding a conversation (he's actually quite good at talking a lot).

And some perspective here.....he's five! He is in his second year of kindergarten, which here means every other day at school, so he hasn't had the opportunity (or a reason) to learn to sit still for long periods of time. Sometimes he has trouble maintaining eye contact during conversations, but only the disciplinary conversations, which he naturally wants to avoid. And he is active. I believe I mentioned that. Hyperactive? No. As soon as he learned to walk I donated his stroller to encourage him to like moving around on his own. Exercise is beneficial and I would like to instill that in my children at the earliest age. But exercise also causes people to have more energy, which is the case with most children I believe.

I have had people tell me (with the best intentions) that he might have a form of ADHD. I pretend I am listening and nod and smile, but really? I know my child. His mood and behaviour is affected by what he eats, how he has slept, and how people interact with him. None of the teachers who have taught or spoken to my son have mentioned anything, so I don't worry about it.

I believe ADHD is over-diagnosed. I am not saying that I believe it's not real; I have first-hand experience as a support worker that tells me it is. I just don't think my boys have it. In Canada over the past decade or so, I read many articles in parenting magazines about  the rise in ADHD among children. Most parents didn't worry about ADHD until a teacher told them their child had it. Teachers are not health care professionals, and I don't believe they are qualified to recommend medical treatment for a child, but teachers have recommended the child be checked and put on Ritalin. So they can sit still. This happened to many families. I think parents are starting to question teachers or health professionals when ADHD is suspected, which is good. Don't get me wrong, if medication will help a child enjoy a better quality of life, and they truly need it to slow down and move forward, I agree with it completely. What I don't agree with are the flexible definitions of childhood disorders, the need to stifle a child's natural energy, and unconsciously putting pressure on parents to have their child be the quiet and proper one.

I am happy my boys are so energetic. Yes, there have been times when exuberance has led to something getting broken or someone getting hurt, but it's not been serious. We have implemented a rule that there is only "calm" play on the main floor of our house. Who knew picture frames could jump off the walls so easily? But in the basement playroom, it's a free for all. Run, jump, dance, yell (quietly though), slide on your socks, just get it out. Be safe of course, but let go. And to be honest, I wish I still had that kind of energy and enjoyment of the simple things.