Disclaimer 1: This is a rant. There are people who might feel offended by what I'm saying. I am not talking about all teenagers, just a general pattern I see.
Disclaimer 2: Although this is a PG blog containing no expletives, I do make reference to them in this post for the sake of authenticity. This is not how I speak
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Today was an enlightening day for me. I realized that no matter how much faith I have in people in general, to be nice or do the right thing or even respect basic social courtesies, there is always someone who is going to disappoint me. Wait a minute. I knew that. Here's what happened though to reinforce it.
My first encounter with rudeness was a girl getting off the school bus talking like a trucker. My children weren't the only children present. There were several kids under five standing there to hear her say, "That's f***ing b******* man. I f***ing hate that stupid, lazy c***." Yes, that's the C-word they can't say in movies. There was lots more, but I think that's sufficient as an example. I don't even like typing that much, but for some people to yell it in front of several children..... I was angry to say the least.
The next experience was on the city bus. I was with J and E and there was a female sitting in the section kept for disabled people. Someone with a wheelchair got on and she looked at him, deliberately took out her phone and began texting, all while not moving. He asked her to move and she was verbally put out by this audacious request.
In a nutshell though, because this is supposed to be a rant, not a novel, we also saw someone sitting with her legs across four seats while people were forced to stand on the bus, someone who knocked an old man over in his rush to get to the bus (while texting, of course), and someone who was so busy making out with her boyfriend at work that she wasn't paying attention to customers that were waiting for service. And then we heard some more colourful language while waiting for the bus again, observed someone else spitting on the bench and saw two people sitting in the middle of the sidewalk, forcing everyone to go around them.
This was all today, and the one thing they all had in common was each offender (I say this because I was personally offended by all of it) was between the ages of fourteen and seventeen. I was angry with all of these people at first, because even if my kids weren't present to see all of it, it's so rude and selfish to act this way that it has to be deliberate, right? But no, here comes the rant.
I realized that someone somewhere taught these inconsiderate teenagers how to be inconsiderate. Perhaps it was by example, or maybe it was from lack of attention or consequences, but whatever the case, none of these kids (yes, they're still kids) thought they were doing anything wrong. I have to blame the parents. And here's why.
Parents are the main influence on a child until they move out of the house. Even after that we continue to be an example of how to conduct ourselves as adults. What is with this generation of young people who think it's okay to treat others like dirt and expect to be given everything else for free? Because I'll tell you, if any of those were my kids they would have a part-time job in customer service so they could spend their afternoons learning manners instead of insulting people with their behaviour.
There is a general sense of entitlement among this age group, and I know it was there when I was that age too. The difference is, I never got away with it. If my parents had have seen me doing any of the things that I saw today, I would have been grounded and doing home-enforced community service or volunteer work. It was unacceptable.
I'm not in any way saying that all teenagers are rude. But as a general rule, they are much ruder today than they used to be. I know there are phenomenal young adults who want to help people and are very polite, but where are they all when my own kids need an example of how to act? They are certainly not out in force.
So parents, if you have a teen and are paying attention to them, good job. If you are giving them their space because they are moody and sullen, don't leave them alone. That's the last thing they want. Remember, teenagers are typically compulsive liars, so if they say, "Stay out of my life," then you can rest assured you should be in their life, to the point that they can't act without you knowing. No, don't be a prison guard (at least not so they know) but please be aware of how they treat people in general. This is when they are forming their permanent personalities and it scares me to think that in ten years there will be a generation of young and educated professionals spitting on benches and tripping people and swearing into the ears of toddlers.
It more than scares me. It is unacceptable. Someone somewhere taught these kids that it's okay, and someone somewhere needs to un-teach them. I know I'm not the only one who doesn't care to see a high school girl sprawled out in a miniskirt at the back of the bus, deliberately ignoring everyone else who wants to sit down. Or someone else who is so busy with their cell phone that they tell someone in a wheel chair to stand up and walk to another seat.
To all the parents (and you know who you are) who are giving your teenagers the freedom to discover themselves and do what they want, pay more attention! It's disgraceful and a poor reflection on you. Your job as a parent will never be over, not when they have their own kids, not when they're married, not when they move out, and definitely not when they hit "tweendom" and tell you to leave them alone. Ignore them and keep teaching. Please. My kids need a better example.
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